Pin Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
    MALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.
    FEMALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. more...

    Q: If Santa doesn't have to age, then why has he become old?
    A: He only appears to be old. He's an undercover kid.

    Q: How can a sleigh possibly fly through the air?
    A: If you were being pulled by eight flying reindeer, wouldn't you fly too?

    Q: Why do we wish people a "Merry Christmas" instead of a "Happy Christmas"?
    A: The two are about the same, but with "Merry Christmas" an extra twinkle is
    seen in the eyes.

    Q: Why is a Christmas tree that has been chopped down called a "live
    Christmas tree?"
    A: It's dead but doesn't know it, and yet it's having the time of its life.

    Q: Why do we wrap our Christmas gifts with paper?
    A: Because we like to see surprise and joy (real or kindly faked) in the
    recipients.

    Q: How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
    A: Nowadays, only four angels can dance there. Formerly there was no limit,
    but OSHA passed more...

    When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

    What do you do if a blonde throws a granade at you?
    take the pin out and throw it back!

    ------------------------------------

    What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
    Run like crazy, because she's still got the granade!!!

    HIM:
    1. Pull up to ATM
    2. Insert card
    3. Enter PIN number and account
    4. Take cash, card and receipt
    5. Leave

    HER:
    1. Pull up to ATM
    2. Check makeup in rearview mirror
    3. Shut off engine
    4. Put keys in purse
    5. Get out of car because she's too far from machine
    6. Hunt for card in purse
    7. Insert card
    8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it
    9. Enter PIN number
    10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.
    11. Hit "cancel"
    12. Re-enter correct PIN number
    12a. Hit "cancel"
    12b. Call husband to get correct PIN number
    13. Check balance
    14. Look for envelope
    15. Look in purse for pen
    16. Make out deposit slip
    17. Endorse checks
    18. Make deposit
    19. Study instructions
    20. Make cash withdrawal
    21. Get in car
    22. Check makeup
    23. Look for keys
    24. Start car
    25. Check more...

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