Pervert Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This TRUE STORY from my secretary.
    Last week her mother was getting her usual "do" when her hairdresser relayed a previous-day experience:
    The hairdresser (owner) was getting ready to close up her shop when a man came in and asked if she could give him a "quick cut" before she closed. She agreed, and as she was trimming the guy's hair, he put his hand under the "cape" and the cape started moving. (She became somewhat uncomfortable.)
    Then, the lady got REAL concerned when the man put his OTHER hand under the cape and the cape started moving MORE; she thought she was trimming the hair of a PERVERT. She then panicked, took a hairdryer and smashed the man up-side his head, causing him to black out on the floor.
    The lady hurried and called 911, police came... only to find out that the poor guy was JUST CLEANING HIS GLASSES!

    Q. Why did the pervert cross the road?
    A. Becuase he was stuck to the chicken.

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    Subject: Additional Training

    It is now and always has been the policy of this Company to assure its
    employees that they are well trained. Through our Special High Intensity
    Training program (SHIT), we have given our employees more SHIT than any
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    If any employee feels that he or she could advance to another position by
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    Our management people are specially trained to assure that you will get all
    the SHIT you can handle.

    Any individual who feels he or she has not received sufficient Special High
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    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
    - Toys for twats.

    What is red and has seven dents?
    - Snow White's cherry

    How can you tell Dolly Parton's more...

    A woman goes to a doctor with a problem. She's sat on the chair next to the doctor, and she's very hesitant about describing her problem. Eventually, the doctor manages to discover that she thinks she may be sexually perverted.
    "What sort of perversion are you talking about?" asks the doctor.
    "Well," said the woman, "I like to be... Ohh... Ah... Ummm... I'm sorry doctor, but I'm too ashamed to talk about it."
    "Come, come, my dear. I'm a doctor you know; I've been trained to understand these problems. So what's the matter...?"
    So the woman again tried to explain, but got so embarrassed that she just turned bright red and looked as though she might faint. It was then the doctor had a bright idea.
    "Look," he said, "I'm a bit of a pervert myself. So if you show me what your perversion is, I'll show you what mine is. Okay? Is it a deal?"
    The woman considered the offer and after a short while agreed that it more...

    A woman goes to a doctor with a problem. She's sat on the chair next to the doctor, and she's very hesitant about describing her problem. Eventually, the doctor manages to discover that she thinks she may be sexually perverted."What sort of perversion are you talking about?" asks the doctor."Well," said the woman, "I like to be... Ohh... Ah... Ummm... I'm sorry doctor, but I'm too ashamed to talk about it.""Come, come, my dear. I'm a doctor you know; I've been trained to understand these problems. So what's the matter...?"So the woman again tried to explain, but got so embarrassed that she just turned bright red and looked as though she might faint. It was then the doctor had a bright idea."Look," he said, "I'm a bit of a pervert myself. So if you show me what your perversion is, I'll show you what mine is. Okay? Is it a deal?"The woman considered the offer and after a short while agreed that it was a fair request. So after a more...

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