Permit Jokes / Recent Jokes
God Meets BureaucracyIn the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was facedwith a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impactstatement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but wasstymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing atthe hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the firstplace. He replied that he just liked to be creative.Then God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately demanded toknow how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What aboutthermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ballof fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assumingthat no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain abuilding permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half thetime. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and the darkness"Night." Officials replied that more...
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.
Streamlining is due to the North Pole's loss of dominance of the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share. He could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has received unfavorable press.
I am pleased to inform you that Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North more...
Don't permit yourself to get between a dog and a lamppost.
You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt. You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather
its feces. You may not run machinery on Sundays.On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up. White Mountain Nat. Forest: If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for' 'maintaining the national forest without a permit''.
God created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the cease and desist order for the earthly part.
Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative. Then God said, "Let there be light", and immediately the officials demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution?
God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire: that he would obtain a building permit; and to conserve energy, would have the light out half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night". Officials replied more...
The government of Sri Lanka is now hiring MP s for the next parliament.
Salary: Rs 22100/- per month
Other allowances: ( legal)
1 Entertainment Rs 1000/- per month
2 Fuel allowance Rs 7500/- per month
3 Cell phone allowance Rs 2000/- month
4 Attending parliament Rs 4000/- per month
5 Driver's allowance Rs 3500/- per month (can use
more than one driver)
Other benefits:
1 Telephone with international connection
2 Photo copier at duty free rate ( Rs 685/-) monthly.
3 Computer at duty free rate ( Rs 1150/-)monthly.
4 Typewriter at duty free rate ( Rs 425/-) monthly.
5 Permit to import a luxury car valued at 30000 Us $
6 After 5 years another permit to import a luxury car
7 MPs those who selected are living 25 miles from
Colombo are entitled 2 story house with 3 bed rooms and other facilities ( Rs 1000 will be charged per month as rent)
Other previlages:
food at low cost from parliament more...
Season's Greetings,
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.
Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with no discernible loss of service. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been cited and received more...