Perfume Jokes / Recent Jokes
An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City building when a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"
Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and farts and says, "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound.
This woman goes to a pet store to purchase some dog food. She puts the bag of food up on the counter and notices a box full of frogs. She reads the sign on the box...and it says...."Snatch Eating Frogs..$20 each (comes with instructions)" She looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers to the man behind the counter... "I'll take one." He packages up a frog. The woman grabs her dog food and is on her way home. She gets home, takes out the instructions and reads them carefully, doing exactly what it says to do. 1. Take a shower. Put on some nice smelling perfume. 2. Put on a very sexy teddy. 3. Crawl into bed, spread your legs and put the frog down "there." To her surprise, nothing happens. So, she thought, perhaps the scent she chose is not appealing to the frog. So, she showers again and tries another perfume. She gets back into bed, puts the frog between her legs and...nothing. She's totally frustrated and pissed off at this point. She more...
The young man really liked the perfume the young lady was wearing and asked its name. She looked puzzled for a minute then dumped the contents of her purse on the table between them. She searched through the pile and finally found a small atomizer. She looked at the label and announced, "Unforgettable"
A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter. She sees, “My Sin”, “Desire”, and “Ecstasy”. She says to the salesperson, “I don't want to get emotionally involved...I just want to smell nice.”
The little girl was SO proud of her Christmas presents, her first watch and her first perfume. She really made a pest of herself throughout the morning, going up to all the relatives and sticking that watch in their ear and insisting that they smell her perfume.
The preacher was coming for lunch, but before his arrival, the girl's mother had said, "If you mention that watch or that perfume just once more, I'm going to send you to your room for the rest of the day."
The meal went rather well, and the little girl held her tongue until just when the desert was being served. She wanted to make sure that the preacher, too, knew about her new watch and her perfume: "If you hear anything or smell anything. .. it's me!"
It was Christmas Eve and Ron had still not bought anything for his
for Christmas. So, on his way home, he stopped at that famous department store, Nacy's.
I'll just get her some nice perfume, he thought, as he entered the store. Walking up to the perfume counter, Ron said, "I'm looking for a nice perfume for my wife for Christmas."
The cosmetics clerk said, "Certainly, we have several very fine perfumes. And she proceeded to show him a bottle of "Elegance, $75 an ounce.
"That's a bit out of my price range, Ron said.
The clerk returned a moment later with another perfume, "Leave Him Wondering, for only $35 an ounce.
"That's still quite a lot, he grumbled.
So the clerk brought out a bottle of "Smells Like Heaven, only $20 an ounce.
At this, Ron grew a bit angry. "Geez, he exclaimed, "Can't you show me something real cheap?"
In response, the clerk handed him a mirror.
Sams girlfriends birthday was the same day as his fathers. He bought his girlfriend a bottle of perfume and his father a pistol. He wrapped the perfume and wrote a note to his girlfriend, saying, Use this all over yourself and think of me. Unfortunately he put the note on his fathers present.