People Jokes / Recent Jokes

1) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother.
2) How do you embarrass an archeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.
3) What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm.
8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A mechanic.
9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can more...

Don't lend people money...it gives them amnesia.

The Professor Of A Graduate-School Class Of Gifted Students Included A Huge Amount Of Material On The Midterm Exam.

Tension In The Room Built, People Were Sighing And Gasping Aloud As They Realized How Much Material They Had Covered And Were Expected To Recall.

The Following Week The Professor Tossed The Graded Papers On Her Desk And Announced, "Class, After I Left Here Last Week, The Lord Spoke To Me. He Said,' Thanks, Professor. I Haven't Heard From Some Of Those People In Years!'"

Three Browns fans were standing in line at a convenience store complaining about how the Steelers made it to the Super Bowl instead of their beloved Browns.
"I blame the management staff," said the first, "because if they would sign eleven new players we could be a great side."
"I blame the coach and the players," said the second, "because if they would make some effort they might at least score a few touchdowns."
"I blame my parents," said the third, "because if I'd been born in Pittsburgh instead of Cleveland, I'd be supporting a decent team!"

Only 11 people greeted the Colts at the airport. And seven of them were just waiting for connecting flights.

Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?" In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam paper contained the question: "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. more...

There are three kinds of people in this world, those who can count, and those who can not!