Penis Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple are driving along the freeway and the husband, who is driving, is complaining about everything... the heat, the long drive, the bad drivers, the country, etc... and his wife is getting tired of his depressing talk. So she says to him: "One more complaint and I'll cut your penis off with my pen-knife".
About half an hour later, he starts complaining again, and before he could blink his wife pulls out her knife, slices the guy's dick off, and throws it out the window.
Driving behind the couple's car is a family of three: husband, wife, and a 8 year old daughter. The penis lands on their car's windshield, and the father, in an absolute panic (as he doesn't want his daughter to see the penis), quickly turns on the windshield wipers (to get the dick off the windshield, and out of view of his daughter).
The observant daughter asks: "Daddy, what was that?"
Her father, still in a panic, says, "Oh it was only a... uh... more...

Tyrone, a black kid in kindergarten came home from school one afternoon and asked his father, "Daddy, is it true that black boys have bigger penises than white boys?"

"Did some little cracka-ass say that to you or somethin?" asked the dad.

Tyrone acknowledged this was correct.

"Well," his dad said, "tomorrow when you go to school and you're up takin' a leak at the urinal, get a good lookin' at yo classmates peckers and see if it's true."

So, the next morning, Tyrone went to school, went into the bathroom with a couple of his white classmates and went to take a piss in the urinal. Trying not to get caught, he inconspiculously glanced at their penises. Tyrone grinned.

Later that day, Tyrone came home and told his dad the news. "Daddy," he said, "It's true! All them crackas have smaller dicks that me!"

"Well, son, time to face the truth... it's cuz yo ass is more...

Q: Why do men name their penises?
A: Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 99% of their decisions.

NEW TAX LAW

The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time is is pissed off, and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has 2 dependents and they are both nuts.

Effective January 1st, 1999, your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:

10-12'' Luxury Tax $30.00
8-10'' Privilege Tax $15.00
5-8'' Nuisance Tax $3.00
Males exceeding 12'' must file under Capital Gains.
Anyone under 4'' is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!

Sincerely,
Pecker Checker
IRS

***NOTE***
We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:

* Are there penalties for early withdrawals?
* What if one's penis is self-employed?
* Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
* Are more...

A Dravidian man falls asleep in a coconut grove. After a while a gigantic Kerala King Cobra slowly crawls along his legs & into his lungi (loin-cloth). Putting its head through an opening in front, the black serpent rises & spreads its fangs. Just as it is about to strike him in the face, the sleeping Dravidian man wakes up. Puzzled, he exclaims, "My horny South Indian King Cobra, I knew you were Big, Black & Dravidian! But from where did you get those bright green eyes ?"

Chota Miyan marries a naive young desi (country) londi (girl). On their Shaab-e-Aroosi (wedding night), he shows her his lund (penis) and tells her he's the only man to have such a thing.

Time passes by and after a few months, they are in bed one night when she grabs his organ & remarks, "You were lying when you told me you were the only man to have one of these. I've discovered that Ravana-Lingam from the Shudra Mohalla (neighbourhood) also has one as well."

Chota Miyan thinks quickly and replies, "Oh yes, that was a spare one I had, so I gave it to him."

"Oh Mehboob (darling)," she sighs. "Why did you have to give that Dravidian Admi (man) the biggest and best one ?"

What does a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?
The longer you play with them the harder they get.