Pecker Jokes

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    Notice Of Increase In Tax Payments To All Male Taxpayers.
    Gentlemen:
    The only thing the government has not yet taxed is your "PECKER." Mainly because 98% of the time you pecker is out of work and the 2% it is in the hole. Moreover, it has two dependents who are both nuts.
    Accordingly, beginning on April 1 of this year, your pecker will be taxed according to its size. Use the Pecker-Checker scale listed below to determine you tax.
    Please insert the information on page 6, section P, subsection z, line 69 of your State Income Tax Form.
    Very truly yours,
    IRS
    Addenum
    PECKER-CHECKER SCALE
    10 to 12 inches Luxury Tax $50. 00
    8 to 10 inches Pole Tax $25. 00
    6 to 8 inches Privilege Tax $15. 00
    4 to 6 inches Nuisance Tax $ 5. 00
    Note: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
    Please do not request an extension.

    Broken pecker joke

    Hot 1 month ago

    A guy takes his broken pecker to a doctor for treatment. The doctor tells him there's nothing he can do for him except wrap it up with a splint. That night he and his girlfriend are necking and she keeps waiting for him to go a little further.
    She removes her blouse and says, "Look at this... untouched by human hands."
    He doesn't respond.
    Then she removes her pants and says, "Look at this... untouched by human hands."
    At this, he jumps up, drops his drawers and says, "Look at this... still in the crate."

    Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies! Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies:
    Here's a little story of a man named John A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone It seems one night after gettin' with the wife She lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife Pecker that is, Rodeoed, fillet food
    Well, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side And Lorena's in the car taking willie for a ride She soon got tired of her purple headed friend And tossed him out the window as she rounded the bend Curve, that is Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs
    She went to the cops and confessed to the attack And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "over there" To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air Found, that is By a fence, evidence
    Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long So a d***-doc said "Hey, I can fix your d**g!" A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need Then more...

    Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies! Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies:Here's a little story of a man named John A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone It seems one night after gettin' with the wife She lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife Pecker that is, Rodeoed, fillet foodWell, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side And Lorena's in the car taking willie for a ride She soon got tired of her purple headed friend And tossed him out the window as she rounded the bend Curve, that is Pricker shrubs, wheel hubsShe went to the cops and confessed to the attack And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "over there" To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air Found, that is By a fence, evidenceNow peter and John couldn't stay apart too long So a d***-doc said "Hey, I can fix your d**g!" A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need Then the world held it's more...

    One morning, two priests head for the showers. It isn't until they're undressed and in the showers, that they realize they didn't bring any soap. Father George decides he'll run back for the soap. Rather than taking the time to get dressed, he peaks out into the hallway, sees there's no one around, and decides to make a run for it.
    He grabs the two bars of soap, checks the hall before heading back to the showers, sees it's all clear and makes a run for it. Just as he turns the corner to the showers, he spots three nuns walking toward him. With nowhere to go, and hoping that the nuns will think he's a statue, he stands perfectly still, holding the two bars of soap.
    The nuns approach and the first nun says, "Oh my, look at that! Isn't that the most life-like statue you've ever seen?" She steps up for a closer look, reaches out and gives a couple of tugs on the priest's pecker. Startled, he drops the first bar of soap.
    "Oh Heavens," she exclaims, "I more...

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