Parenthetical Jokes

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.7. Be more or less specific.8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.10. No sentence fragments.11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.14. One should NEVER generalize.15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.16. Don't use no double negatives.17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.20. The passive voice is to be ignored.21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words more...

1) Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2) Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3) And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4) It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5) Avoid cliches like the plague.
6) Always avoid annoying alliteration.
7) Be more or less specific.
8) Parenthetical remarks (however relevent) are (usually) unnecessary.
9) Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10) No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad, too.
11) Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.
12) Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13) Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary, it is highly superfluous.
14) One should never generalize.
15) Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16) Don't use no double negatives.
17) Eschew ambersands & abbreviations, etc.
18) One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19) Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20) more...

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Do not be redundant.
Do not use more words than necessary. It's highly superfluous.
Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
No more...