Parallel Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This fat guy sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They strip him and lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a gorgeous blonde, stark naked, with a sign saying

    "If you catch me, I'm yours."

    He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg.

    He's back on the street and starts to think.

    "Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I more...

    Q: How many Artificial Intelligence (AI) people does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: At least 55: The problem space group (5) [One to define the goal state, One to define the operators, One to describe the universal problem solver, One to hack the production system, One to indicate about how it is a model of human lightbulb changing behaviour], The logical formalism group (16): [One to figure out how to describe lightbulb changing in first order logic, One to figure out how to describe lightbulb changing in second order logic, One to show the adequacy of FOL, One to show the inadequacy of FOL, One to show that lightbulb logic is non-monotonic, One to show that it isn't non-monotonic, One to show how non-monotonic logic is incorporated in FOL, One to determine the bindings for the variables, One to show the completeness of the solution, One to show the consistency of the solution, One to show that the two just above are incoherent, One to hack a theorem prover for lightbulb more...

    There was this businessman who spent three days negotiating a tough deal with a Japanese businessman. The third day, things were going well, and he said, "well, I think that at last we're thinking along parallel lines."
    The next day the Japanese businessman didn't show up. He checked the hotel and discovered that the businessman had checked out! So he rushed to the airport and found the Japanese businessman in the departure waiting room. He said, "Why are you leaving? It took three days, but we're finally thinking along parallel lines!"
    And the Japanese businessman nodded, and said, "Yes, yes. I scrutinize my dictionary. Parallel lines will never meet. So I go home."

    Teacher: Today I Am Going To Teach You About Logic. (Giving An Example ) Line A Is Parallel To Line B And Line C Is Parallel To Line B Therefore Line A Is Parallel To Line C.
    Teacher: Now Give Me An Example Of Logic
    Raju: Sir, I Love You And You Love Your Daughter. Therefore, I Love Your Daughter.

    In an effort to blunt the hysteria over Barak Obama, who many have likened to John F. Kennedy because of Obama’s charisma, Hillary attempted to claim JFK as her own.

    Appearing in Nashua, NH, candidate Clinton said she is like JFK because she is shrill, vindictive and divisive, which in a parallel universe, is just like JFK.

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