Palace Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The king was waving to his loyal subjects from the steps of the palace when he spotted a beggar in the crowd who looked, beneath the dirt and rags, amazingly like his royal self. He had a guard bring the beggar to him and the crowd was likewise struck by the remarkable resemblance. The king was amused, for he knew that the king before him had a well-deserved reputation as a ladies' man, as did he himself.

    "Tell me, my good fellow," said the king, smiling, "was your Mother perhaps a servant in the royal palace?"

    "No, Your Highness," said the beggar, "but my father was."

    In her memoirs, Barbara Bush described one of those most embarrassing moments that inevitably occur, even on the most carefully advanced of foreign trips. Along with her husband, then the Vice President, Mrs. Bush was lunching with Emperor Hirohito at Tokyo's Imperial Palace.

    Sitting next to the Emperor, Mrs. Bush found the conversation an uphill task. To all her efforts at verbal engagement, the Emperor would smile and say "Yes" or "No," with an occasional "Thank You" tossed in for good measure.

    Looking around her elegant surroundings, she complimented Hirohito on his official residence.

    "Thank you," he said.

    "Is it new?" pressed Mrs. Bush.

    "Yes."

    "Was the old palace just so old that it was falling down?" asked Mrs. Bush.

    In his most charming, yet regal, matter, Hirohito replied, "No, I'm afraid that you bombed more...

    The Chocolate Ritual (You need to know a bit about wicca for this to be a knee slapper.. . )

    Materials required: On the altar are brown candles, a Tootsie Roll (the big one), a large glass with milk in it (the chalice), a small dish of Nestle's Quik and a spoon, a small dish of chocolate sprinkles, a plate of cupcakes, and some Yoo-Hoo along with a goblet. The athame is represented by a cake knife reserved only for cutting Devil's Food Cake, and the pentacle is represented by a chocolate star.

    CLEANSE THE SACRED SPACE:
    (take the small bowl of chocolate sprinkles)

    Chocolate sprinkles where thou art
    Cast no calories in thy presence last.
    Let no fat adhere to me
    And as I will so mote it be!

    Nestle's Quik where thou art cast
    Turn this milk to chocolate fast.
    Let all good things come to me,
    and make my milk all chocolatey!

    CAST THE CIRCLE
    (using the Tootsie roll)

    CALL THE more...

    There was once a Chinese emperor who had very refined taste buds and would eat only the finest of foods. He employed many people whose jobs involved just traveling the length and breadth of the land to find food of the highest quality for their emperor. It was unfortunate for them, however, that the emperor had peculiar cravings. One day the emperor called in his staff and said, "Well, today I want to eat a one hundred year old egg. This egg must be exactly one hundred years old." Well imagine the commotion in the palace! His staff jumped on their horses and traveled all over, trying to find an egg which was exactly one hundred years old. They looked and looked, and finally returned to the palace and approached the emperor. "Well", said the emperor, "did you find my egg?" One of his servants stepped forward and addressed his majesty. "No sir", he said, "we did not find an egg that was exactly one hundred years old. But we do have one here more...

    In her memoirs, Barbara Bush described one of those most embarrassing moments that inevitably occur, even on the most carefully advanced of foreign trips. Along with her husband, then the Vice President, Mrs. Bush was lunching with Emperor Hirohito at Tokyo's Imperial Palace.Sitting next to the Emperor, Mrs. Bush found the conversation an uphill task. To all her efforts at verbal engagement, the Emperor would smile and say "Yes" or "No," with an occasional "Thank You" tossed in for good measure.Looking around her elegant surroundings, she complimented Hirohito on his official residence."Thank you," he said."Is it new?" pressed Mrs. Bush."Yes.""Was the old palace just so old that it was falling down?" asked Mrs. Bush.In his most charming, yet regal, matter, Hirohito replied, "No, I'm afraid that you bombed it."

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