Pakistanis Jokes / Recent Jokes
A large group of Pakistani soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a Indian voice call from behind a sand dune. "One Indian Army soldier is better than ten Pakistanis."
The Pakistani commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle breaks and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out "One Indian Army soldier is better than fifty Pakistanis."
Furious, the Pakistani commander sends his next best 50 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Indian voice calls out again "One Indian Army soldier is better than one hundred Pakistanis."
The enraged Pakistani Commander musters one hundred of his best fighters and sends then across the dune. Gunfire, grenades, machine gun fire, rockets, etc. ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Pakistani fighter crawls back over the dune more...
A Pakistani walked into a pet shop in London and asked for two bales of hay
to feed to his elephant. The shop assistant said, "Sorry sir, we don't
serve Pakistanis unless you have proof that you have a pet. You'll have
to bring your elephant in." To which the poor man replied, "I am wanting
to know isn't it. What is this reason that you do not serve me?" The
shop assistant replied, "Because you might eat the pet food yourself."
The next day the man walks into the pet shop and confronts the shop
assistant with his elephant. "Two bales of hay please."
A few days later, the guy is in again. "I am wanting isn't it. To buy
a sack of peanuts for my monkey, yes, yes."
"Sorry sir, we don't serve Pakistanis. Bring your monkey in because you
might want to eat the pet food yourself."
Next day, he walks in with this huge grey baboon with a bright red
arse and demands, "I am wanting more...
A mother narrates a dialogue between Zia-ul-Haq, former military ruler of Pakistan who declared himself the President, and his assistant in a plane. Said Zia,' If I throw a 100 rupee note, it v/>uld make at least the one Pakistani who found it happy again.'
'Ten 10 rupee notes would be a better idea,' replied his assistant.' They would make ten Pakistanis happy.'
The pilot who overheard the conversation butted
in, ' If I threw both of you out it would make
15 crore Pakistanis happy.'
Once in the indo pakistan war, pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called gurudwara hideout was crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the defence secrets.
The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps cptn. Hari singh wearing a maachar dani! (mosquito net). He pulls out his ak-47 rifle and fires like mad. The pakistanis run off quickly. The next day hari singh gets a medal.
His freinds ask him "yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" hari singh replies "maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi?
In the following war hari singh retires and his son gyani singh (no assumptions please! ) Joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the bushes erupts gyani more...
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?".
The barman says "Yes, thats them."
So the guy walks over and says,"Hello, what are u guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
Guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!
" Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
Some Sikhs and Pakistanis were in trenches facing one another. One Sikh shouted' Mohammed Mia'. A Pakistani soldier stood up and shouted,' Mohammed Mia ko kisne bulaya?' (Who called Mohammed Mia?) He got shot. Another Sikh shouted' Azam Khan' Azam Khan stood up and said. .. and got shot.
The Pakistanis found it a great idea and decided to copy it. (It is in their genes to do everything after the Indians!) So a Pakistani soldier shouted,' Swaran Singh'.
There was silence. After a cpuple of minutes one of the Sikhs shouted,' Swaran Singh ko kisne bulaya?' (Who called Swaran Singh?)
A Pakistani soldier stood up - and got shot!