Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE! !"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Miss Smith is a kindergarten teacher and today is her birthday. As she walked into her classroom one of her students, Sally, had brought a gift up to her desk.
"Guess what it is!" said Sally.
Knowing that Sally's father owned a bookstore she guessed, "A Book?".
"How did you know?" asked Sally.
Next Dillon brought a gift up to Miss Smith. "Guess what it is!" said Dillon.
Knowing that Dillon's parents owned a florist shop, she guessed, "Flowers?".
"How did you know?" asked Dillon.
Finally, Joey brought up a gift for Miss Smith.
"Guess what it is!" said Joey.
Knowing that Joey's father owned a liquor store, and seeing that the bag was wet, she placed her fingers on the liquid and then licked them. "Rum?" guessed Miss Smith.
"No" said Joey.
She tasted again..."Vodka?" she more...
"I believe Men and Fish can coexist together peacfully."
"I support Latino owned buisnesses, women owned buisnesses, and every other kind of person owned buisnesses."
An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died, so she took them to the taxodermist."So you want them mounted?" asked the taxidermist.To which she replied: "No. Holding hands will do just fine."
Application to Live in KentuckyName:__________________________ Nickname:_________________________________CB Handle Model:_____________________ Color:______________Address (RFD No.):_________________-_____________________________________Daddy (If unknown, list 3 suspects):______________________________________Mamma:_________________________Neck Shade: _____Light Red _____Medium Red _____Dark RedNumber of teeth exposed in full grin: Upper_____ Lower_____Name of Pickup owned:_______________ Height of Truck__________Truck equipped with:____Gun Rack ____4-Wheel Drive ____Confederate Flag____8-Track Cassettes ____Load of Wood ____Hijacker Shocks____Radar Detector ____Mag Wheels ____Dual CB Antennas____Spittoon ____Camper Top ____Air Horns____Mud Flaps ____Toothpick Holder ____Mud-Grip Tires____Raccoon Hide ____Big Dog ____Hunting RifleNumber of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of pickup truck:_____BUMPER STICKERS:____Eat more Possum ____My other car is a piece of shit too____Honk if more...