Origin Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Loan application

    Hot 5 years ago

    A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.
    The title to the property dated back
    to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
    After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
    "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral proper back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.
    "Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
    "Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note
    that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 more...

    If Olive oil comes from

    Hot 6 years ago

    If Olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

    Real bathroom graffiti found all over the place. Wheefun. The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
    Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
    Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL Beauty is only a light switch away.
    Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina. I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
    Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts. Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
    Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
    Unknown origin. To do is to be. -Descartes
    To be is to do. -Voltaire
    Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
    Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona. At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
    Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona. It's more...

    The Origin of Chapstick
    The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the Cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.
    "Howdy, stranger..."
    "Howdy, Sheriff..."
    The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk, and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon.
    "Hold on, Mister..."
    "Sheriff?"
    "Did I just see what I think I just saw?"
    "Reckon you did, Sheriff...I got me some powerful chapped lips..."
    "And that cures them?" "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' em!

    The Origin of Chapstick
    The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the Cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.
    "Howdy, stranger..."
    "Howdy, Sheriff..."
    The cowboy then moved slowly to then back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk, and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon.
    "Hold on, Mister..."
    "Sheriff?"
    "Did I just see what I think I just saw?"
    "Reckon you did, Sheriff...I got me some powerful chapped lips..."
    "And that cures them?" "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' em!

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