Opinions Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Court of King George IIILondon, EnglandJuly 10, 1776Mr. Thomas Jeffersonc/o The Continental CongressPhiladelphia, PennsylvaniaDear Mr. Jefferson: We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for further refinement. The questions which follow might assist you in your process of revision: 1. In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature and Nature's God." What are these laws? In what way are they the criteria on which you base your central arguments? Please document with citations from the recent literature. 2. In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind." Whose polling data are you using? Without specific evidence, it seems to us more...
This guy gets a notice to show up at the IRS office to answer some questions about his last tax return. His wife advises him to wear clothes with holes and his worn-out shoes. "Make them think you're poor."
Then he goes and asks his lawyer how he should dress. "Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and your sharpest tie!"
The guy is overwhelmed. With these two different opinions, he still doesn't know how he should dress. As a last resort, he goes to see his rabbi, explains his situation, the two contradictory opinions, and asks him what he should do.
The rabbi answers: "A woman, on the verge of getting married, asks her mother what she should wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a long flannel night shirt which buttons at the neck,' she answers. But when the bride-to-be asks the same question to her best friend, she gets this answer: 'Wear your sexiest nightie, the one that's open down to your navel.'"
The guy interrupts the more...
Q. What is exchange of opinions?
A. When you walk into your boss''s office with your opinion and walk out with his.
Everybody knows there are different opinions to everything. Here are some.
*A smoking section in a restaraunt is like a peeing section in a pool.
*Always look on the negative side, so you'll never be dissapointed.
*Men are like snow storms, you never know how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.
What`s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union?
It`s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party`s.
Everybody knows there are different opinions to everything. Here are some.*A smoking section in a restaraunt is like a peeing section in a pool.*Always look on the negative side, so you'll never be dissapointed.*Men are like snow storms, you never know how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.