Operation Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Operation

    Hot 8 months ago

    When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.
    "Uh, I hadn't really thought about it," admitted the stunned surgeon. You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy.

    You need an operation!

    Hot 7 months ago

    A lady says to her doctor, "My husband has been complaining that my vagina has an odor, but I bent over and took a whiff, and I don't smell anything."
    The doctor examines her vagina, and then says, "There's something terribly wrong. You need an operation." She asks, "On my vagina?"
    He says, "No. On your nose!"

    CAT User's Manual

    Hot 5 years ago

    CAT v.6.1b: Completely Autonomous Tester, Manufactured by MOMCAT
    User Installation and Maintenance Documentation:
    Features:
    User Friendly
    Low Power CPU
    Self Portable Operation
    Dual Video and Audio Input
    Audio Output
    Auto Search Capability for Input Data
    Auto Search for Output Bin
    Auto Learn Program in ROM
    Instant Transition To Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use
    Wide Operating Temperature Range
    Mouse Driven
    Self Cleaning
    Production Details:
    After basic KIT construction, the unit undergoes six weeks of
    onsite ROM programming and burn-in testing. Listed features are
    installed during this period. Since MOMCAT uses local suppliers,
    there may be a variation between individual units. Some of the
    units may not meet general standards. MOMCAT's quality assurance
    may reject inferior units. Users may sometimes salvage rejected
    units. Beware of Far East clones. These may violate more...

    The Operation

    Hot 4 years ago

    A young lady is in the hospital for an operation.
    She says, "Doc, how long after my operation will I have to wait until I can have sex again?"
    He says, "You know, Miss Stukowski, you're the first person who ever asked me that before a tonsillectomy!"

    NEW SICK LEAVE POLICY

    Hot 2 years ago

    TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
    SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY
    * SICKNESS
    No excuse... We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
    * AN OPERATION
    We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation. We believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.
    * DEATH
    1. Other than your own, this is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone else can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently let you leave 1 hour early, provided your share of the work is ahead more...

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