Offence Jokes

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    Bar Joke
    Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit
    Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.
    Stuart: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
    Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in
    here!
    The argument repeats itself until they are all drunk. Dave goes to the toilet.
    On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
    Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder .
    >>
    Dave: - 'Scuse me... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
    Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
    Dave: - Oh! What's that then?
    Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?
    Dave: - Er... mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!
    Suit: - Well, it's more...

    Two builders (Paddy and Shamus) are seated either side of table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a Guinness and sits on a stool at the bar.
    So Paddy and Shamus start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...
    Paddy: I reckon he's an accountant. Shamus: No bleedin way, he's a stockbroker. Paddy: He ain't no bleedin stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't be seen dead in here!
    The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of Guinness gets the better of Paddy and he makes for the toilet.
    On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several Guinness get the better of the Paddy...
    Paddy: Scuse me sir... no offence meant, but me and me mate Shamus were wondering what you do for a living?
    Suit: No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession! Paddy: Oh! What's dat den? Suit: I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home? Paddy: Er .. mmm... well yeah, I do as it more...

    Two builders are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.
    The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
    Chris: 'I reckon he's an accountant. '
    James: ‘No way - he's a stockbroker. '
    Chris: ‘He's no stockbroker. A stockbroker wouldn't come in here. '
    The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Chris and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet, he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
    Chris: ' 'Scuse me... no offence meant, but me and my mate were wondering what you do for a living.'
    Suit: ‘No offence taken. I'm a logical scientist by profession. '
    Chris: 'Yeah, so what's that then. '
    Suit: 'I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a goldfish at home?'
    Chris: 'Er... mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens. '
    Suit: more...

    Two builders are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.
    The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
    Chris: 'I reckon he's an accountant. '
    James: ‘No way - he's a stockbroker. '
    Chris: ‘He's no stockbroker. A stockbroker wouldn't come in here. '
    The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Chris and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet, he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
    Chris: ' 'Scuse me... no offence meant, but me and my mate were wondering what you do for a living.'
    Suit: ‘No offence taken. I'm a logical scientist by profession. '
    Chris: 'Yeah, so what's that then. '
    Suit: 'I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a goldfish at home?'
    Chris: 'Er... mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens. '
    Suit: more...

    It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant. That's no offence", said the judge. " It is if you do it before the shop opened", countered the prisoner.

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