Obsolete Jokes / Recent Jokes

Computer Acronyms and what they really mean: PCMCIA -- People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN -- It Still Does Nothing
APPLE -- Arrogance Produces Profit Losing Entity
SCSI -- System Can't See It
DOS -- Defective Operating System
BASIC -- Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM -- I Blame Microsoft (or conversely' I Build Macs')
DEC -- Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM -- Consumer Device-Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 -- Obsolete Soon Too
WWW -- World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH-- Most Applications Crash, If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM -- Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathmatics
COBOL -- Completely Obsolete Buisiness Oriented Language
AMIGA -- A Merely Insignificant Gamers Addiction
LISP -- Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS -- Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS -- Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
MICROSOFT-- more...

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you can’t afford.
Obsolete: Any computer you own. Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3: Apple’s new Macs that make you say ‘Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago. ’
Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, “Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object. ” Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI: What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced ‘gooey’)
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business more...

WWW - World Wide Wait

PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

ISDN - It Still Does Nothing

APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

GIRO - Garbage In Rubbish Out

SCSI - System Can't See It

DOS - Defunct Operating System

IBM - I Blame Microsoft

CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses

MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent more...

Humorous Computer-Related AcronymsIBM I Blame Microsoft Idiots Buy Me Idiots Building Machines I'll Buy Macintoshes It Bit Me It Built Microsoft It's Better Manually I've Been Mislead I've Been Mugged WINDOWS Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed When I Need Data Output Without Speed While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation Will Install Needless Data On Whole System WIN Whoppingly Immense NOP Worm Infestation Netware MS-WINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan Different Operating Systems ExpectationsMacintosh: What You See Is What You Get MS-DOS: You Asked For It, You Got It UNIX: IfUHv2sk, UDntWnt2Kno VMS: You Got It, All Of It, Want It Or Not Random Abbreviations for Many Computer CompaniesAPPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity DEC: Dump Everything and Close DEC: Do Expect Cuts HCL: Hilarious Computer Logic HP: Hot more...

STATE-OF-THE-ART
Any computer you can't afford.

OBSOLETE
Any computer you own.

MICROSECOND
The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

SYNTAX ERROR
Walking into a computer store and saying...' Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.'

HARD DRIVE
The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.

GUI
What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced' gooey')

KEYBOARD
The standard way to generate computer errors.

MOUSE
An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

FLOPPY
The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

PORTABLE COMPUTER
A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

DISK CRASH
A typical computer response to any critical more...

Humorous Computer-Related AcronymsIBM I Blame Microsoft Idiots Buy Me Idiots Building Machines I'll Buy Macintoshes It Bit Me It Built Microsoft It's Better Manually I've Been Mislead I've Been Mugged WINDOWS Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed When I Need Data Output Without Speed While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation Will Install Needless Data On Whole System WIN Whoppingly Immense NOP Worm Infestation Netware MS-WINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan Different Operating Systems ExpectationsMacintosh: What You See Is What You Get MS-DOS: You Asked For It, You Got It UNIX: IfUHv2sk, UDntWnt2Kno VMS: You Got It, All Of It, Want It Or Not Random Abbreviations for Many Computer CompaniesAPPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity DEC: Dump Everything and Close DEC: Do Expect Cuts HCL: Hilarious Computer Logic HP: Hot more...

PCMCIA- People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN- It Still Does Nothing
APPLE- Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI- System Can't See It
BASIC- Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM- I Blame Microsoft
CD-ROM- Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2- Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW- World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH- Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM- Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL- Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
WINDOWS- Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
MICROSOFT- Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for)
Fools (&) Teenagers.