Nurses Jokes / Recent Jokes

A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left
her, hoping she would be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast,
and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways
in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her
and straighten her up.
Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt
over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought
her back upright. This went on all morning.
Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to
her new home.
"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart."

A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing.
The friend was amazed at the number of Nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention ?" the friend asked. "You look fine to me."
"I know !" grinned the patient. "But the Nurses kinda formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required thirty-seven stitches."

A hospital patient, recovering from minor surgery, was being given an alcohol rubdown by two of the hospital's more attractive nurses.
While manipulating the man's body they noted that the word "tiny" was tattooed on the head of his penis.
Some months after the man's discharge, Mary, one of the nurses, tod Joan, the other, that she had dated their former patient.
"How could you go out with a man that had 'tiny' tattooed on his love stick?" exclaimed Joan.
"How could I indeed!" said Mary. "It said 'tiny' when it was soft, but when aroused, it spelled:
'Tiny's Delicatessen & Catering Service. We deliver at all times, twenty-four hours a day!!!'"

A hospital patient, recovering from minor surgery, was being given an alcohol rubdown by two of the hospital's more attractive nurses.While manipulating the man's body they noted that the word "tiny" was tattooed on the head of his penis.Some months after the man's discharge, Mary, one of the nurses, tod Joan, the other, that she had dated their former patient."How could you go out with a man that had 'tiny' tattooed on his love stick?" exclaimed Joan."How could I indeed!" said Mary. "It said 'tiny' when it was soft, but when aroused, it spelled:'Tiny's Delicatessen & Catering Service. We deliver at all times, twenty-four hours a day!!!'"

A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a spongebath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her.
They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flatlines... no pulse... no heart rate.
The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, "I think she choked."

A young man went into the hospital for some minor surgery, and the day after the procedure a friend stopped by to
see how the guy was doing. His friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention?" the friend asked, "You look fine to me.""I know!" grinned the patient. "But the nurses kind of formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required 27 stitches."

Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.
The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear."
The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees."
The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer."
The fourth nurse fainted.