Nurses Jokes / Recent Jokes

3 nurses go into the morgue, and there's a dead man's body lying there, with an erection. The first nurse sees it, and says "I'm gagging for it", gets atop the man and has her way with it. The second nurse says "Aye, so am I, shame to let it go to waste", and she does the same. They turn to the 3rd nurse and ask her if she is having a go. She replies she is having her period, and declines. One of the nurses reply "He's dead anyway, he'll no bother". The last nurse agrees with this, gets on and does her thing too. Just after she finishes, the dead man sits up. The nurses ask him "We thought you were dead!", and the man replies,"After two jump starts and a blood transfusion, you wouldn't be dead either!".

How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None - They just have a nursing assistant do it.

Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.

The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear."

The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees."

The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer."

The fourth nurse fainted.

Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work? A: In case they have to draw blood.

A young man went into the hospital for some minor surgery, and the day after the procedure a friend stopped by to
see how the guy was doing. His friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention?" the friend asked, "You look fine to me.""I know!" grinned the patient. "But the nurses kind of formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required 27 stitches."

Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.
The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear."
The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees."
The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer."
The fourth nurse fainted.

Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear."The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees."The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer."The fourth nurse fainted.