The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19. 36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova' Swing' on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11. 15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lampposts.
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504 km (313 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB) at the wheel of a Saab 900 on the 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator more...
A MAN was hauled up in court for beating his neighbour. The magistrate demanded:' Did you beat up your neighbour?'
'Yes, Your Honour, he called me a Punjabi rascal.'
'Your Honour, if he had called you a Bengali or Madrasi rascal, or the type of rascal you really are, wouldn't you have beaten him up?'
Here's a hypothetical situation:
I drove home late last night and drove over the neighbour's
cat. What should I do?
A. hide the cat and let them think it ran away?
(b) wedge the cat under the neighbor's tire so they think
they did it?
(c) paint a hexagram on their front lawn and put the cat
in the middle so they think that crazy Satanists did it?
(d) throw the cat into my other neighbour's yard?
(e) tell them that the cat will come back?
(f) claim that I had the right of way and the cat
had no business running in front of the car when it
obviously knew I was going to accelerate?
(g) put the cat in the garborator so there isn't any
(h) put the cat in a tree, call the fire department
and let them try to explain it?
(i) explain that when cats get to a certain age
they just lie around a lot and smell bad?
(j) tell them that I ran over their cat with my car?
(l) move away?
(m) buy them a new cat more...
A concerned neighbour rings up the police because he suspects his next door neighbour to be hiding canabis in his firewood.The police arrive at the mans house and start chopping up all his firewood. They find nothing, swear at the man and leave.A few seconds later the neighbour gets a phone call."It's Tony, did the police come and chop your firewood""yeh mate they did""happy birthday mate".
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately,
the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour
happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey, if
your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of
The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?"
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to
it was an invoice that read, "Legal Consultation Service: $150."