Neighbour Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Rascally Punjabi

    Hot 3 years ago

    A MAN was hauled up in court for beating his neighbour. The magistrate demanded:' Did you beat up your neighbour?'
    'Yes, Your Honour, he called me a Punjabi rascal.'
    'So what?'
    'Your Honour, if he had called you a Bengali or Madrasi rascal, or the type of rascal you really are, wouldn't you have beaten him up?'

    About Four Years

    Hot 3 years ago

    One person from Utter Pradesh (UP) was in Mysore for about four years and his wife in Jaunpur (UP).

    At the end of four years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

    His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this happened when our friend was in Mysore and his wife in Jaunpur.

    He said it is common in UP that neighbours take care of the wife (good samaritans) when men are away.

    The colleagues asked, "What name will you give to the son?"

    To which he replied: "If it's the first neighbour who has taken care, then the name would be PAHLAJ.

    If it's the second neighbour, then the name would be DWIVEDI, if it is the third neighbour then it would be TRIVEDI, if it is the fourth neighbour then it would be CHATURVEDI and if it's the fifth neighbour PANDEY.

    After listening to this, questions followed and what if it is a mixture of more...

    A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought.
    Turns out that his next door neighbour was also a chicken farmer. The neighbour came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100 chickens."
    The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the new neighbour stopped by to see how things were going. The new farmer said, "Not too good. All 100 chickens died." The neighbour said, "Oh, I can't believe that. I've never had any trouble with my chickens. I'll give you 100 more."
    Another two weeks went by, and the neighbour stops in again. The new farmer says, "You're not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too."
    Astounded, the neighbour asked, "What did you do to them? What went wrong?" more...

    A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. "This is a talking dog," hesaid. "And you can have him for five dollars." The neighbour said, "Who doyou think you're kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain't no suchanimal."Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," hepleaded. "This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog inAmerica. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated tentimes.""Hey!" said the neighbour. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him forjust five dollars?" "Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of allhis lies."

    A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbour to report that
    her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description.
    She said, "He is 36 years old, 183 cm high, has brown eyes, brown hair, an
    athletic body, weighs 75 kg, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
    The next-door neighbour protested, "Your husband is 57 years old, about 160 cm,
    chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
    The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants him back?"

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