Nearing Jokes

A priest was on his death bed and called two men to come to his home and sit by him while he died. One of the men was an IRS agent and the other, a lawyer. As the priest's time was nearing, he asked both men to hold his hands while he died.
After holding his hands for a short time, the lawyer asked the priest, "Father, we realize you are nearing the end, but why have you asked us to hold your hands?"
"Jesus was crucified between two thieves and I want to go the same way!" the priest replied.

Iran’sPresident, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, declared today before the U.N. General Assemblythat, “the American empire” is nearing its end.
Shortly afterward, President Bush retorted: "Of course this isn’t the end of the American empire. How else would we keep track of whether thepitch was a strike or a ball?”