Nap Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
    The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
    The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.
    This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
    The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The more...

    kidnapping

    Hot 1 year agoby justincider

    Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van.
    But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping.

    I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

    1. An official staff visit by LT jg Claus is expected at this post on 25 Dec. The following directives govern activities of all Army personnel during the visit.

    a. Not a creature will stir without permission. This includes warrant officers and mice. Soldiers may obtain special stirring permits for necessary administrative action through the Battalion S-1. Officer stirring permits must be obtained through the Deputy, Post Plans and Policy Office.

    b. All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap NLT 2200 hours, 24 December. Uniform for the nap will be; Pajamas, Cotton, Light Weight, General Purpose, OG, and Cap, BDU woodland pattern, with ear flaps in the extended position. Equipment will be drawn from the supply room prior to 1900 hours. While at supply, all personnel will review their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash Collection Voucher, DD Form 1131, for all missing items. Remember, this is the "season of giving."

    c. more...

    To All Retired Military Personnel
    Subject Official Command Visit
    This office has been informed of an official visit by Gen. Santa
    Claus to this base on 25 December. The following directives will
    govern activities of personnel during this visit
    1. No creatures will stir without official permission. This will include all
    native mice. Special stirring permits will be obtained through the orderly
    room.
    2. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 220
    hours. Uniform for nap pajamas, cotton, light drowsing, with kerchief,
    general purpose.
    3. Personnel will utilize standard ration sugarplums to dance through their
    heads. This item may be picked up in the orderly room.
    4. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by chimneys with care.
    Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires. Individual
    sections will submit stocking-hanging plans to Capt. Kringle by 0800 hours,
    22 more...

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