Naked Jokes / Hot Jokes

Heart Attack?

Hot 2 weeks ago

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.' What's up?' he says.

'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,' Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!' The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.' You jerk,' yells the husband,' my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!'

One day, a girl was...

Hot 2 months ago

One day, a girl was babysitting a little boy and a little girl. The girl was asleep and the boy was still up.The babysitter asked the boy,''What could I do to get you to go to sleep.'' He said you could read me a bedtime story so she started to read.The boy stopped her and said my mom usually lays down by me when she reads me a story. So she did.Then the little boy said my mom is usually naked when she reads me a story, so the babysitter got naked.then the boy said,''My mom lets me stick my finger in her belly button.'' The babysitter says''that is not my belly button.'' The boy said that is not my finger.

Son in Law

Hot 3 months ago

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.

"What are you doing?" She exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator.

"What are you doing?" He exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time coming from the den. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside more...

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet
the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for
you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you
die. What is first wish?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get his horse. The
cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on
the back. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a
naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the
cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man-can only
think of one thing."
The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his
horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the
horse's ear, then slaps it on the back. more...

The Dress of Love!

Hot 10 months ago

An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband.
The mother asks the daughter, "What are you doing naked?"
The daughter responds, "This is the dress of love."
When the mother returns home, she strips naked and waits for her husband.
When her husband arrives, he asks her, "What are you doing naked?"
She responds, "This is the dress of love."
"Well," he says to her, "go iron it."