Naked Jokes / Hot Jokes
In the original native culture of Thailand, when males reached the age of 18 they had to participate in the following ceremony:
They stood naked in a large circle, facing inward. A naked girl stood behind each of the men. A beautiful, naked girl did a sexy dance in the center of the circle.
As soon as all the men became aroused and developed erections, the girls behind them reached through between their legs, pulled their erect penises downward as much as they could, and then released them.
The men's penises would then spring back up and go "WHAP!" against their bellies. This exercise was a measurement of the strength of their masculinity. . . . .
and that's why the current capital of Thailand came to be named Bangkok.
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.' What's up?' he says.
'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,' Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!' The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.' You jerk,' yells the husband,' my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!'
What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing?
30 Nasty Things A Woman Can Say To A Naked Man
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It's a good more...
Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is apoodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane.The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "why are you here?"The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well.I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sickso he brought me here to be put to sleep."The schnauzer asks the poodle "why are you here?"The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially highstrung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and Ieven bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has beenhappening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he broughtme here to be put to sleep."The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here.The great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterdayshe was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to more...