Muslims Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven."

    The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!"

    St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?"

    The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!"

    St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!"

    The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!"

    St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!"

    So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man more...

    Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven."
    The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!"
    St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?"
    The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!"
    St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!"
    The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!"
    St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!"
    So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried more...

    Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven."The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!"St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?"The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!"St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!"The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!"St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!"So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried him in a cave. After three days more...

    The other day I was scanning the food sections of three newspapers – the New York Times, the Washington Post and the Boston Globe. All had articles on Middle Eastern cuisine, albeit from different cultural demographics. The Times focused on the Sephardic Jewish cooking, the Post on the foods prepared by the Catholic and Orthodox populations, and the Globe went for the Ramadan meals for Muslims.

    And guess what – the Jews, Christians and Muslims were all eating the same thing! In fact, all three articles interviewed people from the same part of the region (the Syrian city of Aleppo).

    To which I say to these groups: Just go into a kitchen together and start cooking – you’ll see how much you genuinely have in common. Forget about sending Condi Rice to the Middle East...send Rachael Ray and have her get the warring parties around a stove. We’d have both peace and dinner in less than 30 minutes!

    Police gaffe makes Muslims pray in wrong direction



    A Dutch police station trying to help Muslim detainees face Mecca for their prayers painted arrows in cells pointing in the wrong direction...Muslims pray five times a day, facing east in the direction of Mecca. But the arrows in Segbroek pointed west.

    "This is a really gigantic, stupid blunder," a police spokesman told the De Telegraaf. "The faulty compass marks have been immediately corrected. It is a mystery for us how this could have possibly happened".

    I think Theo Van Gogh was just having some fun.

    Regardless, what does it matter if they're facing eastward or westward? As long as they pray downwards, they're facing their paradise.

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