Multiply Jokes / Recent Jokes

After it was all over and Noah lowered the ramp of the ark for all the
animals to leave, he told the animals "To go forth and multiply."
All the animals left except two snakes who lay quietly in the corner of the
ark.
"Why can't you go forth and multiply?" demanded Noah.
"We can't," answered the snakes. "We're adders."

>> Read this message ONE LINE AT A TIME and just do what it says. You will be
>>glad you did. If not, you'll feel like an knucklehead and wish you had
>>listened.
>>
>> 1) pick a number from 1-9
>> 2) subtract 5
>> 3) multiply by 3
>> 4) square the number (multiply by the same number)
>> 5) add the digits until you get only one digit (i. e. 64= 6+4= 10 1+0=1)
>> 6) if the number is less than 5, add five. Otherwise subtract 4.
>> 7) multiply by 2
>> 8) subtract 6
>> 9) map the digit to a letter in the alphabet 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc...
>> 10) pick a name of a country that begins with that letter
>> 11) take the second letter in the country name and think of an animal
>> that begins with that letter
>> 12) think of the color of that animal
>>
>> *******************************************************
>>
>> ******* DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU HAVE DONE ALL OF THE ABOVE*******
>>
>> more...

TEST:
***
DO NOT SKIP AHEAD. Read this message ONE LINE AT A TIME and just do what it says. You will be glad you did. If not, you'll feel like an idiot and wish you had listened.
***
1) pick a number from 1-9
2) subtract 5
3) multiply by 3
4) square the number (multiply by the same number - not square root) and if it's negative make it positive.
5) add the digits until you get only one digit (i.e. 64=6 4= 10= 1 0=1)
6) if the number is less than 5, add five. Otherwise subtract 4.
7) multiply by 2
8) subtract 6
9) map the digit to a letter in the alphabet 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc...
10) pick a name of a country that begins with that letter
11) take the second letter in the country name and think of a mammal that begins with that letter
12) think of the color of that mammal
***
DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU HAVE DONE ALL OF THE ABOVE
Here it comes, NO CHEATING or you'll be sorry...
You have a grey elephant from Denmark!

TEST:*** DO NOT SKIP AHEAD. Read this message ONE LINE AT A TIME and just do what it says. You will be glad you did. If not, you'll feel like an idiot and wish you had listened.***1) pick a number from 1-92) subtract 53) multiply by 34) square the number (multiply by the same number - not square root) and if it's negative make it positive. 5) add the digits until you get only one digit (i.e. 64=6 4= 10= 1 0=1)6) if the number is less than 5, add five. Otherwise subtract 4.7) multiply by 28) subtract 69) map the digit to a letter in the alphabet 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc...10) pick a name of a country that begins with that letter11) take the second letter in the country name and think of a mammal that begins with that letter12) think of the color of that mammal***DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU HAVE DONE ALL OF THE ABOVEHere it comes, NO CHEATING or you'll be sorry... You have a grey elephant from Denmark!

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read. .
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would
like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757... If you haven't, add 1756.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number.
The first digit of this was your original number. ( I. e., How many
times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE!
(Oh YES, it is!)
THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

When Mrs. Smith came home one night she was horrified to find her son with his hands round his pet rabbit's neck, shaking it and shouting, "Come on then. What's five and three?

"Stop it at once," she yelled. "What are you doing?"

"Well, teacher told us that rabbits could multiply quickly. This one can't even add five and three."

AAC Alter All CommandsAAD Alter All DataAAO Add And OverflowAAR Alter At RandomAB Add BackwardsABC AlphaBetize CodeABR Add Beyond RangeACC Advance CPU ClockACDC Allow Controller to Delete ContentsACDP Allow Controller to Die PeacefullyACQT Advance Clock to Quitting TimeADB Another Dumb BugAEE Absolve Engineering ErrorsAFF Add Fudge FactorAFHB Align Fullword on Halfword BoundaryAFP Abnormalize Floating PointAFR Abort Funny RoutineAFVC Add Finagle's Variable ConstantAGB Add GarBageAGWA Add and Get Wrong AnswerAI Add ImproperAIB Attack Innocent BystanderAIB Attack Innocent BystandersAISG Access and Improve Student GradeAMM Add Mayo and MustardAMM Answer My MailAMS Add Memory to SystemANC ANnoy ConsultantAOI Annoy Operator ImmediateAR Advance RudelyAR Alter RealityARN Add and Reset to Non-zeroARN Add and Reset to NonzeroARZ Add and Reset to ZeroAS Add SidewaysASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSIAT Accumulate TriviaAWP Argue With ProgrammerAWTT Assemble With Tinker ToysBA Branch more...