Multiple Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
    2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
    3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
    4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
    5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
    6. Bring cheerleaders.
    7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester more...

    Stay clear of the ejection port(s) both front and rear.
    Beware of objects thrown from unit, both solid and liquid.
    Please carry unit with care as handle placement is not optimum.
    Use caution when dispensing fluids not to spill them on sensitive components of unit.
    Do not drop unit as this may cause damage.
    Do not submerge unit for extended periods of time.
    Do not leave unit submerged while unattended as this may harm the unit.
    Do not leave unit unattended in public places.
    Do not expose unit to extreme temperatures.
    Make sure to use proper approved restraints when transporting unit in a vehicle, i.e. no duct tape or string.
    Make sure to fuel unit through proper opening.
    Multiple units operating in close proximity may be hazardous to your health and mental well being.
    Unit is delivered "as is" and may not be returned or exchanged. No warranty should be implied.
    Software upgrades may be administered throughout the life of the more...

    You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only. 1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early. 2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol. 4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril. 5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 6. Bring cheerleaders. 7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the more...

    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
    If you yelled at your plants instead of talking to them, would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
    Is there another word for synonym?
    Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
    Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
    Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
    Is there another word for synonym?
    Why call then hot water heaters if the water is already hot?
    If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

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