Mower Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A new sales assistant was hired at a large dept. store. On his first day, the
    sales manager took him around to show him the ropes. They were passing by
    the gardening section, when they heard a customer asking for grass seed.
    The sales manager stepped in.
    SM: Excuse me, but will you be needing a hose to water your lawn?
    C: I guess so. I'll take one.
    SM: And how about some fertilizer and weed-killer?
    C: Um, okay.
    SM: Here's a couple of bags. You'll also need a lawn mower to cut the grass
    when it starts growing too long.
    C: I'll take one of those too.
    After the customer left, the sales manager turned to the assistant. "You see?"
    he said, "that's the way to make a good sale. Always sell more than what
    the customer originally came in for."
    Impressed, the assistant headed off for the pharmaceutical section, where
    he was to work. Soon, a man strolled in.
    MAN: I'd like to buy a pack of Tampax, please.
    SA: more...

    He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of thirteen cats. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head. You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher. He's fascinated by the details of you home security system. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings. Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus. Turns a goat loose and says he'll be back in three weeks. No toes.

    The power mower was broken and wouldn't run, a lady kept hinting to her husband that he should get it fixed. But, somehow the message never sank in.Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When her husband
    arrived home one day, he found her seated in the tall grass, busily
    snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.He was gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed her a
    toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass", he said, "you might as well
    sweep the sidewalks".

    This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found oneat a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning."This mower work, son?" the preacher asked.Little Johnny said, "Sure does - just pull on the cord hard, though."The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start.Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny'shouse. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough.""Well," Johnny said, "you need to curse at it sometimes."The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!""Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you."

    What's the difference between a lawn mower and a soprano sax?
    You can tune a lawn mower, and the owner's neighbors will be upset if you borrow the lawn mower and don't return it.

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