Moo Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

    cow1 says: "moooooo"
    cow2 says: "JERK,"i was gonna say that"

    A Shorter, Harsher Titanic

    (Scene 1)

    KATE WINSLET: Why, this is a fancy boat, isn't it?

    KATE'S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named' Picasso.' I am certain he will amount to nothing.

    KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our 90's audience, because they know this priceless paintings will sink with the boat.

    LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Hello, I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to the worship of me. You are very pretty.

    KATE: Thank you. So are you.

    LEONARDO: I know. Prettier than you, in fact. I am going to put on my' brooding' face now, to ensure that women will keep coming back again and again to see this movie. Later, my white shirt will be soaking wet.

    KATE: While you're doing that, I will concentrate on standing here and looking pretty, to keep the men in the audience interested until the boat sinks and more...

    The Top 16 Worst Fortune Cookie Fortunes

    16'What, 3 servings of Moo Shoo Pork weren't enough for you, tubby?'

    15'Your fullness will be short-lived. Like an hour, tops.'

    14'Put all your money and jewelry in the egg roll and nobody gets hurt.'

    13'It takes a tough man to make tender chicken from a cat.'

    12'You will meet a tall, dark man, not a stranger, who will kill you. He will kill Ron also.'

    11'This coupon good for free 1-year subscription to Windows Sources magazine.'

    10'Today's dog in alley is tomorrow's moo goo gai pan.'

    9'Spouse mad at you. No get special' wonton pork' tonight, Chester.'

    8'Patron who mocks waiter's accent will unwittingly consume chef's bodily fluids.'

    7'A wise man tips 20% to avoid severe tire damage.'

    6'An 87 year old hooker awaits you. Alright, let's see you add' ...between the sheets' to that one, smart guy.'

    5'Man who look to more...

    What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle!

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