Mohel Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn't read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window. She goes in and hands the man her clock. The man says, "Madam, I don't repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions." She says, "Why all the clocks in the window?"And he says, "And what should I have in my window?"

    A mohel was in the unsual habit of saving the foreskins from the babies he circumcised. Everyone thought this was evidence enough that the old man was deranged. When they found out that he wasn't just saving them, but sewing them into miniature change-purses, they were ready to call for the men in white coats.
    The mohel insisted, though, that he was in full possession of his faculties. "I'm just being practical," he said. "They're the most useful change-purses in the world. Just watch! You rub one, and it turns into a suitcase!"

    A traveller in a strange town found that his watch stopped.
    He happened to see a door with a big clock hanging outside, so he stepped in.
    An elderly Jewish man attended him and he explained that his watch needed fixing.
    The elderly man said " I am sorry, sir I cannot help you, I am a mohel not a watchmaker"
    The man replied, surprised " If you are a mohel why do you hang a clock outside your door?" The mohel replied "Well, if you were a mohel, what would YOU hang outside your door?"

    Oy of the Beholder - Singles kvetch about their awful dates.
    Girls, Interrupted - Women's section of Shul shusshed during davening (prayers).
    The Seder House Rules - Zaydie lays down the law on Pesach.
    Angela's Kashas - Woman reveals secret recipes.
    The Six Cents - Three Jews each put in their two-cents' worth.
    Snow Falling on Seders - Unexpected storm disrupts Passover.
    Supernova - Space scientists discover powerful strain of lox.
    Dreydel Will Rock - Chanukah toy comes alive.
    Sleepy Hallah - On Friday night, father fills up on bread, dozes off.
    Stuart Ladle - Mouse makes chicken soup for Shabbos.
    The Whole Nine Yids - Struggling shul waits for tenth.
    The Green Mohel - Young man performs first circumcision
    Mun on the Moon - Astronauts discover hamantaschen filling, not green cheese, on lunar surface.
    Gonif with the Wind - A thief tries to acquire ownership of Tara through a forged deed.
    The Putzman Rings Twice - A mohel murder more...

    Q: If a doctor carries a black leather bag and a plumber carries a box of tools, what does a mohel carry? A: A bris kit.

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