Mission Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Pregnant !!!

    Hot 5 years ago

    An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
    The farmer simply replied, "They're all lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look them over and select the one you want.

    The President of the United States has a Top Secret Mission of the utmost importance he needs done.
    He's going over files from 3 different candidates and calls in the first one who is a Navy SEAL. On the Presidents desk is a 9mm pistol. The president says in the next room is your wife I want you to take the pistol and kill her. Navy SEAL takes the gun puts it back down on the desk and says sir I love my wife I'm sorry I cant do it and walks outs.
    The President calls in the second candidate who is an Army Ranger. The president tells him that in the next room is his wife and that he want him to take the pistol and kill her. The Army Ranger gets up goes into the next room sees his wife and comes back out. He tells the President I cant do it I saw my wife and just couldnt do it cause I love her and he walks out.
    Well the President calls in the last candidate who is a Marine Sniper. The President tells him that in the next room is his wife and that he wants him to take this more...

    When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he
    not only gave his famous "One small step for man, one giant leap for man
    kind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic
    between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he
    reentered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck Mr.
    Gorsky."
    Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival
    Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either
    the Russian or American Space Programs. Over the years many people
    questioned Mr. Armstrong as to what the "Good Luck Mr. Gorsky" statement
    meant, but Mr. Armstrong always just smiled and would not answer.
    Just last year, (On July 5, 1996) in Tampa, Florida while answering
    questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 29 year old
    question to Mr. Armstrong again. This time he finally more...

    Just A Weeeeee Bit

    Hot 2 months ago

    "An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.
    With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.
    Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
    The farmer simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."
    The man dated the first daughter.
    The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.
    "Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit,
    not that you can hardly notice, pigeon-toed."
    The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one
    of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
    The next day, the farmer again asked how things more...

    (best done with exaggerated English & German accents)
    An English P.O.W. is in a German hospital with serious injuries. The
    doctor comes into his room and says, "The news iss bad. Ve are going to
    have to amputate your leg." The Brit replies "Right then. War is hell and
    all that malarkey. But could you ask your commandant if he wouldn't find
    it to much of a bother to drop it over my beloved homeland when he goes on
    his next bombing mission?" Off goes the doctor, and with the commandant's
    permission, they fulfill his request.
    A few days later, the doctor returns into his room and says, "More bad news.
    Ve are going to have to amputate your other leg." The Brit replies "Right
    then. War is hell and all that malarkey. Could you ask your commandant
    if he wouldn't mind terribly if he could drop it over my beloved homeland
    when he goes on his next bombing mission?" Off goes the doctor, and more...

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