Milking Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Kicking

    Hot 1 year ago

    A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, "Have you done your chores yet?"
    "No," replies the boy, "but could I have breakfast first?"
    "You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop, milk the cow and feed the pigs."
    The boy goes down to the chicken coop and lazily cleans it. When he is finished he kicks a chicken. Next, he walks to the barn and takes out the old milking cow. After milking her thoroughly, he kicks her. Then the boy gets the food and feeds the pigs. Once he is done he kicks a pig.
    Finally, the boy runs back to his house, very hungry. His mother gives him a plate with nothing on it but an apple. Disappointed, the boy says, "Where's my eggs, my milk and my sausage?"
    "Well," says his mother, "I saw you kick a chicken, so now you don't get eggs. I saw you kick the cow, so now you don't get milk. I saw you kick the pig, so now you don't get any more...

    DUBAI SYSTEM:
    You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legitimate and shady investors who hope to sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cows first to attract attention.
    QATAR SYSTEM:
    You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.
    BAHRAIN SYSTEM:
    You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The more...

    A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused.
    A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting
    drunk?"
    Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
    Man: So what happened that's so horrible?
    Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.
    Man: Ok, but that's not so bad.
    Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
    Man: So what happened then?
    Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.
    Man: and then?
    Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.
    Man: Again?
    Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
    Man: So, what did you do then?
    Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.
    Man: and then?
    Farmer: Well, I more...

    A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused.
    A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
    Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
    Man: So what happened that's so horrible?
    Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.
    Man: Ok, but that's not so bad.
    Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
    Man: So what happened then?
    Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.
    Man: and then?
    Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.
    Man: Again?
    Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
    Man: So, what did you do then?
    Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.
    Man: and then?
    Farmer: Well, I sat more...

    A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks him, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
    Farmer: Some things you just can't explain. Man: So what happened that's so horrible?
    Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket. Some things you just can't explain. Man: Ok, but that's not so bad.
    Man: So what happened then? Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left. Man: and then? Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket. Some things you just can't explain.
    Man: So, what did you do then? Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket more...

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