Mile Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

    Three Canadians...

    Hot 1 year ago

    Ok, 3 canadians were walking along the beach, one from the Yukon, one from Quebec, and one from Newfoundland. Now, it happened that they found a magic lamp. After rubbing it, the genie promised each of them one wish. The Yukon said, "I wish for fish teeming in our waters for a million years." The genie snapped his fingers and said, "Done."
    The Yukon man went off to go fish. Now the Quebec man said, "Being as the Quebecois's (is that right?) are a superior race, I want a wall a mile high and a mile thick all the way around Quebec so no one can get in, and no one can get out.
    So the genie snapped his fingers, and transported the Quebecois to Quebec so there were no problems.
    The Newfie stepped up and said, "Ok, it's a mile high and a mile thick, and no one can get in or out right?"
    "Correct." said the genie.
    "Fill it with water."

    Amazing Facts 2

    Hot 6 years ago

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    During World War II, twice as many fighter pilots were killed during training than combat
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    In 1962 an outbreak of contagious laughter in Tanganyika lasted for six months and caused schools to be closed
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    A nautical mile measures 6,080 feet while a land or statute mile is 5,280 feet
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    No one can drown in the Dead Sea. It is 25 percent salt, which makes the water very heavy
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    Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water
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    Earth's oceans contain 7 1/2 million tons of gold, dissolved in the water
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    Children who are breastfed tend to have an I.Q. seven points higher than children who are not.
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    The bird flu virus could evolve into a form that is easily spread between people, resulting in a highly contagious and lethal disease.
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    The Chinese, in olden days, used marijuana only as a remedy for dysentery.
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    If you are right handed, you will tend more...

    Signs Of The 2000's

    Hot 6 years ago

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way if they get angry they'll be a mile away - and barefoot. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face. For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. A closed mouth gathers no feet. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. Eat well - stay fit - die anyway. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal more...

    Top 24 one-liner

    Hot 3 years ago

    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone.
    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
    3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
    4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
    5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
    6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
    7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
    8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
    9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
    10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
    11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. more...

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