Midget Jokes / Recent Jokes
This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend"I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buya horse, I'm sending him over."The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male orfemale horse."A female horth," the midget replies.So the owner shows him one."Nith looking horth, can I see thea her mouth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse s mouth."Nith mouth. Can I see her eyesth?"So the owner picks up the midget and shows the eyes."Ok, what about the earsth?"Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget onemore time and shows the ears."OK, finally, I d like to see her twat," said the midget.With that, the owner picked up the midget and shoved his head upthe horse's twat, then pulled him out.Shaking his head, the midget says, "perhapth I should rephrase.I'd like to see her run!"
An MG Midget pulled alongside a Rolls-Royce at a traffic light. "Do you have a car phone?" its driver asked the guy in the Rolls.
"Of course I do," replied the haughty deluxe-car driver.
"Well, do you have a fax machine?"
The driver in the Rolls sighed. "I have that too."
"Then do you have a double bed in the back?" the Midget driver wanted to know.
Ashen-faced, the Rolls driver sped off. That afternoon, he had a mechanic install a double bed in his auto.
A week later, the Rolls driver passes the same MG Midget, which is parked on the side of the road--back windows fogged up and steam pouring out. The arrogant driver pulls over, gets out of the Rolls and bangs on the Midget's back window until the driver sticks his head out. "I want you to know that I had a double bed installed," brags the Rolls driver.
The Midget driver is unimpressed. "You got me out of the more...
A guy calls a buddy, who is a horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.
The horse rancher asks "How will I recognize him?"
That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."
The midget goes there, and the rancher asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.
"A female horth."
He shows him a prized filly.
"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"?
The rancher picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"?
He picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.
"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"?
The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?
Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the more...
There were three midgets, and all three wanted to be in the Guiness Book of World Records for having the smallest of something... The first midget wanted to have the smallest hands, the second the smallest feet, and the third (you guessed it) wanted to have the smallest dick.
They went to get themselves measured, and the first little midget came out all happy because he had the smallest hands. The second midget came out all happy because he had the smallest feet... but the third little midget came out all pissed off and said, "Who the fuck is Osama bin Laden?"
Two lil leprechauns went off to St Mary's convent and begged an audience with the mother superior. "well, how can I help you little folk?" asked the Mother Superior.
The larger and more intelligent looking of the leprechauns asked "Well, mother superior, would you be a knowing any midget nuns here at the convent?"
"Afraid not," replies Mother Superior, "there are no midget nuns here"
"all right then, would you be knowing of any midget nuns in all of Ireland then?"
"Well, no," replied Mother Superior, "none that I know of."
"Well then, in the whole world of nuns, would you know of any Midget nuns?"
"No, I would'nt - there are no midget nuns in the whole of the world!" said Mother Superior, "and would you please tell me what this is all about?"
The asking leprechaun turned sadly to the stupid leprechaun and said "well, I told you so...you've been dating a more...
What do you get when you cross a midget with a computer? A short circuit.
When is the only polite time to slap a midget? When he says, "Gee, your hair smells terrific."