Mergers Jokes / Recent Jokes
On the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become Mine, All Mine.
Knott's Berry Farm and the National Organization for Women merge to become Knott NOW.
Have you heard there is a lot of mergers going on in the information technology industry, here are a few examples of deals in the works although they haven't been formally announced yet!
Pitney Bowes may merge with Honeywell Bull to create Pit Bull: They'll have the first postal meter that bites unauthorized users.
CheckFree Corp., Inacomp, and Beyond Mail will become Check's InaMail.
Real World Accounting and Virgin Interactive will become Real Active Virgin: Recommended by Madonna.
Dell Computer and Farmer's Almanac will become Farmer's in the Dell: They'll specialize in computers that can predict crop yields and planting times.
Megahertz Corp., My Software, and Fastback will become MyBackHertz: Their specialty will be easy to use PCMCIA backup!
In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal, the AOL/Netscape deal, and the HP/Compaq deal, here are the next bombshell mergers. Investors should expect the following. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly Warner Cracker. 3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da. Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge to become Fairwell Honeychild. Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants will merge to become Poupon Pants. Knott's Berry Farm and National Organization of Women will merge to become Knott NOW.
New business mergers!
Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called - Poupon Pants. (my warped sense of humor loves this one!:)
Knott's Berry Farms and National Organization of Women: New company will be called - Knott NOW!!!