Mensa Jokes / Recent Jokes
All members of Mensa have I.Q.s of at least 140.
At one Mensa convention, several members at a local cafe noticed the shaker with an S on top, for salt, contained pepper and their pepper shaker, with a P on top, was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling anything and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, here was the marvellous Mensa mystery!
They presented ideas, debated them, and finally came up with what they felt was a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.
They called the blonde waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.
"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker contains..."
"Oh, sorry!" interrupted the blonde waitress. "Here," and she unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly (my favorite)
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. (though this is good too)
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't more...
Even at a Mensa convention someone is the dumbest person in the room.
From The Economist of July 8, page 49:
Mensa, the club for "highly intelligent people," advertised
a competition in a children's newspaper-closing date,
This was written by William Keaton, and originally published in "MIND", the newsletter of Indianapolis Mensa beck in 1993. It was reprinted in the national (American) "Mensa Bulletin" this month. And now, with the usual apologies to Clement Moore. ..' Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a computer was stirring, not even a mouse.
The hard drives were left on in each computer case
With a database for Santa, punched up in dBase.
The hackers were all snug asleep in their beds,
While visions of access codes danced in their heads.
And I with my PC and Ma with her Mac,
Had settled in for a long winter's nap.
When up from my modem there arose such a squeal,
I jumped from my bed and said, "What's the deal!!?!?"
To my computer I tore like a flash,
Hoping I wasn't suffering a Christmas Eve Crash.
A flashing green light on the front of my case,
Showed late-night activity (I more...