Mendel Jokes

Rabbi Mendel was one day walking along a very narrow street, when he came face to face with a rival Rabbi. The street was too narrow for the two to pass. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily, "I never make way for fools." Smiling, Rabbi Mendel stepped aside and said,. . . "I always do."

Old Mendel Rugelbaum was very old and suffering from a rare disease and could drink only human milk. "How can I get human milk?" Mendel asked the doctor. "Well, Ruby Finkelstein's just had a baby, maybe she'll help." So every day Mendel went to Ruby's house for his daily feed. Ruby was a dark-eyed, big breasted lady, who, in spite of herself, gradually became aroused as Mendel lapped at her ripe breasts. One day as he quietly lay sucking, she whispered to him, " Tell me Mr. Rugelbaum, do you like it?" "Mmmm, wonderful," he sighed. "is there....," she hesitated, her lips parted, eyes aglow, "is there anything else you'd like?" "As a matter of fact there is," murmured Mendel. "What?" Ruby asked breathlessly. Mendel licked his lips. "Maybe a little biscuit?"

Morris was telling his friend Mendel a joke, "Mandelbaum and Rosenstern were talking one day..."
Right away, his friend, Mendel, interrupts him, "Always with the Jewish jokes! Give it a rest! Why do they always have to be about Jews? Don't you know some jokes that aren't about Jews!"
So he starts again, "Okay, Hashimoto and Suzuki were talking one day at their nephew's Bar Mitzvah..."