Martian Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Meteor--right?

    Hot 2 months ago

    The latest research into possible evidence of past Martian life has failed to win over some scientists, who remain skeptical of any claims that a Martian meteorite shows signs of life that once existed on Mars. Kathie Thomas-Keprta of NASA's Johnson Space Center, found that organisms in the meteorite were identical in shape to those on earth. Some critics say there were no organisms on the meteorite. In other words, she faked an organism.

    Sex With A Martian

    Hot 8 months ago

    One day, a space ship landed in a farmer's field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple in his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so the Martians agreed.
    Later that night, the Martian man explained how, on their planet, it was customary to swap partners as a token of friendship. The farmer, not wanting to offend his alien neighbors, readily agreed.
    The Martian then man took the farmer's wife into one bedroom while the farmer took the Martian woman into another. They had been having sex for about an hour when the Martian man asked the farmer's wife, "Well, how do you like having sex with a Martian? How does it feel?"
    The farmer's wife replied "It needs to be a little bigger around." So the Martian man twisted his right ear and presto, his penis became bigger around.
    About an hour later, the more...

    Paddy the Earthling: We put a man on the moon in 1969.
    Paddy the Martian: Big deal! We're going to send a team to the Sun.
    Paddy the Earthling: You're mad! They'll be burned up before they even get close.
    Paddy the Martian: We're not that stupid! We're sending them up at night!

    A married couple finally saved up enough money to go on their fantasy vacation to mars.While strolling along the red dirt and craters the couple meets up with a martian couple.
    The two couples get to talking and up comes the subject of sex.In curiosity the two couples decided to switch partners for the night.
    The wife and the martian man were about to have their fun, but when The martian man pulled off his pants and it was the size of a pencil.The wife asked "Can you make it longer?"The martian replied "yes." and slapped his forhead, it grew longer. Then the wife asked "can you make it wider?" The martian replied again "yes." he pulled his ears and it grew wider.
    So the martian man and the wife went to town and had their fun. The next day the couples met up again and the wife asks her husband "So how was you night honey? Mine was great!"
    "Mine was horrible!" the husband said.
    "why?" his wife more...

    AT&T fired PresidentJohn Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership". Hereceived a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lackingintelligence... With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police inOakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricadedhimself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that theman was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up....And What Was Plan B? An Illinois man pretending to havea gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated tellermachines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts... And These Nitwits Are TeachingOur Children?!! A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspensionunder his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoefferallegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump more...

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