Marshmallow Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I'm not making this up. This is almost as good as the
    "Nintendo Cereal System." Everything after this sentence is
    quoted from a coupon offer in the San Francisco Chronicle
    of Sunday June 25, 1989 from Kraft foods and referencing a
    copyright of Paramount Pictures Corporation.
    Get your One-of-a-Kind
    Star Trek V (the final frontier)
    Kraft Marshmallow Dispenser
    Experience the 23rd century with a one-of-a-kind, futuristic
    marshmallow dispenser. It holds up to four KRAFT Jet-Puffed
    Marshmallows. Its dual action lever opens and dispenses the
    marshmallows in a single motion. The dispenser also comes
    with a durable plastic fork and spoon, making it ideal for
    camping trips. It can be clipped to a belt or almost anything.
    The official marshmallow of the Starship U.S.S. Enterprise.(TM)

    ** Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

    ** Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.

    ** To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    ** Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan and the marshmallow won't stick to your fingers.

    ** To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

    ** To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove-top.

    ** Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces and there won't be any stains.

    ** When a cake recipe calls for flouring more...

    Regarding the story about the Kraft marshmallow dispenser:
    David Letterman does a sketch entitled "Supermarket finds," where his
    staff collects supermarket products and makes fun of them. Recently,
    he displayed Kraft Marshmallows and their claim about being
    "The official marshmallow of the Starship U.S.S. Enterprise.(TM)"
    And he then remarked, "Funny, I thought that was William Shatner's job."

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