Marlboro Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    All about smoking:
    Remember, smoking doesn't kill people. People who are trying to quit smoking kill people.
    One poll says 73% of Americans favor raising the cigarette tax. It's only fair. Since smokers aren't around as long as the rest of us, they should pay more while they're here.
    I quit smoking once for six days. And then they untied me.
    Trying to quit smoking can drive you nuts - especially when you try to light your nicotine gum.
    Marlboro has a line of outdoor gear for smokers. They recommend you buy it a size larger so paramedics don't have to cut it off of you.
    The Marlboro clothing is very functional. The denim jacket has electric heart paddles sewn right into the lining, and there's a backpack that can hold a portable respirator.
    I stopped smoking and extended my life expectancy. My wife is furious.

    You think that Marlboro is a cologne.
    Your best coat is a black and red checkered.
    You put your Christmas lights up 2 weeks after taking them down.

    All about smoking: Remember, smoking doesn’t kill people. People who are trying to quit smoking kill people. One poll says 73% of Americans favor raising the cigarette tax. It's only fair. Since smokers aren't around as long as the rest of us, they should pay more while they're here. I quit smoking once for six days. And then they untied me. Trying to quit smoking can drive you nuts -- especially when you try to light your nicotine gum. Marlboro has a line of outdoor gear for smokers. They recommend you buy it a size larger so paramedics don’t have to cut it off of you. The Marlboro clothing is very functional. The denim jacket has electric heart paddles sewn right into the lining, and there’s a backpack that can hold a portable respirator. I stopped smoking and extended my life expectancy. My wife is furious.

    1. The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.

    2. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

    3. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

    4. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

    5. American car horns beep in the tone of F.

    6. No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.

    7. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

    8. 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.

    9. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

    10. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

    11. The more...

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