Marijuana Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Redneck joke

    Hot 3 years ago

    "Hello, is this the FBI?"
    "Yes. What do you want?"
    "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
    "Thank you very much for the call, sir."
    The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
    "Hey Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
    "Yeah!"
    "Did they chop your firewood?"
    "Yep."
    "Happy Birthday Buddy"

    Ebonics 101

    Hot 2 years ago

    Welcome to EBONICS 101Herein follow a few terms to help you get started on your merry way towards the ve-nak-u-lar..."Damn- that shit is DOPE!"That is a wonderful concept/object/action."Can't FADE that."I am unable to comprehend or assimilate that concept at this time."Shante ain't havin' it."This is not something that Shante will allow to occur."Homey- Boo was dropping PHAT beats."Our friend Boo was playing some wonderful music."YO!- Let me GAFFLE that BLUNT!"Might I be able to indulge in your marijuana cigarette?"JIMMY was on and I was HITTIN' it!"I had in my possession a condom, which was used in my engagement of sexual activity."What's up? Why you ALL UP in my shit!?!"Please sir/madam- stay out of my affairs."She is HELLA' CLOWIN' you HOMEY!"The woman is creatively informing you that her interest in dating you is non-existent at this time."Woooooo- Renaldo was PITCHIN' STRAIGHT GAME to baby-doll, more...

    The phone rings at FBI headquarters.

    "Hello?"

    "Hello, is this FBI?"

    "Yes. What do you want?"

    "I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood."

    "This will be noted."

    Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave.

    The phone rings at Tom's house.

    "Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?"

    "Yeah!"

    "Did they chop your firewood?"

    "Yeah they did."

    "Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

    A few terms to help you get started on your merry way towards the ve-nak-u-lar...
    "Damn- that s**t is DOPE!"
    ~~~ That is a wonderful concept/object/action.
    "I can't FADE that!"
    ~~~ I am unable to hande this at this time.
    "Shante ain't HAVIN' it!"
    ~~~ This is not something that Shante will allow to occur.
    "Homey-Boo was dropping PHAT beats."
    ~~~ Our friend Boo was playing some wonderful music.
    "YO!- Let me GAFFLE that BLUNT!"
    ~~~ Might I be able to indulge in your marijuana cigarette?
    "JIMMY was on and I was HITTIN' it!"
    ~~~ I had in my possession a condom, which was used in my engagement of sexual activity.
    "What's up? Why you ALL UP IN my s**t!?!"
    ~~~ Please sir/madam- stay out of my affairs.
    "She is HELLA' CLOWIN' you HOMEY!"
    ~~~ The woman is creatively informing you that her interest in dating you is non-existant at this more...

    "Hello, is this the FBI?"
    "Yes. What do you want?"
    "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
    "Thank you very much for the call, sir."
    The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
    "Hey Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
    "Yeah!"
    "Did they chop your firewood?"
    "Yep."
    "Merry Christmas Buddy"

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