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    Scouse Eggs

    Hot 1 year ago

    2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
    He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
    "R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees.
    They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester more...

    *** COPIED FROM A NEWSGROUP POSTING ***
    (the male author was responding to a woman who accidentally walked into the men's restroom):
    Please don't feel bad. It wasn't you entering the men's washroom that caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him. Hell, we do that all the time. It's rare for us guys to ever hit what were aiming for. Sometimes I go into the washroom, start to pee, and then just start spinning around; just so I'll make sure I hit something.
    You see, something you ladies should understand by now is that men's penises have a mind of their own. A guy can go into a bathroom stall because all the urinals are being used, take perfect aim at the toilet, and his penis will still manage to piss all over the roll of toilet paper, down his left pant leg, and onto his shoe. I'm telling 'ya those little buggers can't be trusted.
    After being married 28 years my wife has me trained. I'm no longer allowed to pee like a man - standing up. I am required to sit down more...

    *** COPIED FROM A NEWSGROUP POSTING ***(the male author was responding to a woman who accidentally walked into the men's restroom):Please don't feel bad. It wasn't you entering the men's washroom that caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him. Hell, we do that all the time. It's rare for us guys to ever hit what were aiming for. Sometimes I go into the washroom, start to pee, and then just start spinning around; just so I'll make sure I hit something.You see, something you ladies should understand by now is that men's penises have a mind of their own. A guy can go into a bathroom stall because all the urinals are being used, take perfect aim at the toilet, and his penis will still manage to piss all over the roll of toilet paper, down his left pant leg, and onto his shoe. I'm telling 'ya those little buggers can't be trusted.After being married 28 years my wife has me trained. I'm no longer allowed to pee like a man - standing up. I am required to sit down and pee. She has more...

    Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.

    Two drunks, Santa and Banta, enter a hotel late at night. They approach the clerk, and Santa says, "Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?"
    "You mean a room with two beds?" asks the clerk.
    "Whatever, whatever you shay."
    So they get a key and somehow manage to stumble upstairs to their room. After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door open. As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fall on the bed closest to the door.
    "Ahh," says Santa, "Now we can get some sleep at last."
    As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone in their bed.
    "Hey! There's somebody in my bed!" says Banta.
    "There's somebody in my bed too!" says Santa.
    "Let's get rid of them. We paid for this room and we're going to sleep in the beds!" says Banta.
    They start a more...

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