Why did the doughnut maker retire? He was fed up with the hole business.
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed?
Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted!
Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.
On a more positive note though, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted.
Continuing with that theme:
blackjack dealer discarded
cabinet member disappointed
''Cannabis Club'' owner disjointed
I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on the water while I'm fishing.
A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.
Definition of Atheism: a non-prophet organization.
Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you'd make a nice sandwich.
Why settle for the lesser of two evils?
Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic...
Here's to the sun God, He sure is a fun God, Ra, Ra, Ra
Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? - Jules Feiffer
A diagnostic is someone who doesn't know whether there are two gods.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
In the beginning, God created the Baptists. And the Baptists looked at themselves and said, "We good." And God saw it was too late.
Televangelists: The Pro more...
A woman entered a department store and told the clerk that she wanted to return a coffee maker for refund because it didn't work. The clerk told her that he couldn't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
All of a sudden the woman threw her arms up and yelled, "Grab my Breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The clerk didn't know what to do, so he called the store manager who asked her if he could help.
She explained that she wanted to return the coffee maker for refund because it didn't work, and he told her that he would not give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again she yelled, "Grab my breasts! Grab my breasts!"
The manager was taken aback and asked her why she was yelling that particular phrase.
She replied, "Because I like my breasts grabbed when I'm getting screwed!"
Blonde Cousin Ellen has always been the world's worst when it comes to getting instructions mixed up. When she got married her husband bought her a fancy, electric coffee maker that had all the latest gadgets on it.
The salesman carefully explained how everything worked: how to plug it in, set the timer, go to bed and upon rising, the coffee is ready.
A couple of weeks later, Ellen was back in the store and the salesman asked her how she liked her new coffee maker.
"It's wonderful," she replied. "There IS one thing I don't understand though. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?"
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