Luxury Jokes

  • Funny Jokes


    Hot 5 years ago

    A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got one in my Yugo!"
    The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a phone."
    The driver of the Yugo says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!"
    The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."
    The driver of the Yugo says, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!"
    The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"
    The driver of the Yugo says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my more...

    A Few Good SysAdmins

    Hot 2 years ago

    User: I want some answers.
    Administrator: You want answers?
    User: I think I'm entitled to them.
    Administrator: You want answers?
    User: I want the truth!
    Administrator: You can't handle the truth!
    We live in a world that has Computers, and those Computers have to be
    connected by people with a clue.
    Who's gonna do it? You?
    You users make me sick. I have a greater responsibility than you can
    possibly fathom.
    You weep for your email and you curse the local administrator.
    You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that
    this network, while screwed up, and confusing to you, probably saved time.
    And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves time.
    You don't want the truth, because deep down, in places you don't talk about
    at parties, you want us in this office.
    You need us in this office.
    We use words like DNS, LDAP, and SCRIPTS...we use these words as the
    backbone to a more...

    In reaction to N. Korea's nuclear test, the UN will ban trade on all luxury items going into the impoverished country.
    Kim Jong Il, one of only 6 North Koreans that can afford luxury items anyway, declared "your ban can't hurt me, I'll just keep wearing my grandma's glasses!"

    Three men died and went to heaven. Upon their arrival, St. Peter asked the first man if he had been faithful to his wife. The man admitted to two affairs during his marriage. St. Peter told him that he could receive only a compact car to drive in heaven.

    Then St. Peter asked the second man if he had been faithful to his wife and the man admitted to one affair. St. Peter told him he would be given a midsize car to drive.

    The third man was asked about his faithfulness, and he told St. Peter he had been true to his wife until the day he died. St. Peter praised him and gave him a luxury car.

    A week later, the three men were driving around and they all stopped at a red light. The men in thee compact and midsize cars turned to see the man in the luxury car crying. They asked him what could possibly be the matter - after all, he was driving a luxury car.

    "I just passed my wife." he told them. "and she was on a skateboard."

    Time is a luxury you do not have.

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