Lungs Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said, "We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking for work." An Englishman said, "We are far more advanced than you. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him ready for work in just 3 weeks." The Irishman says, "That's nothing; we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another man's body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks." The American says, "Well hell, that's nothin'. We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is lookin' for work!"

    Shy Guy

    Hot 4 years ago

    A rather shy guy enters a bar and spots a beautiful woman sitting there. After a lengthy time of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, "Um, excuse me, but would you mind if I talked with you for awhile?"
    She responds, by screaming at the top of her lungs, "No, I will not sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at the two of them.
    Obviously, the poor guy is totally embarrassed and slinks back to his table.
    A few moments later, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. Smiling at him, she says, "I'm so sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
    He responds by screaming at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

    Arkansas Scholars

    Hot 6 years ago

    Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
    Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
    Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
    Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
    Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
    Q: What are steroids? A: more...

    A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the
    bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her
    and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a
    while?"
    She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with
    you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
    Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks
    back to his table.
    After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologises. She smiles
    at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate
    student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing
    situations."
    To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

    A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.
    After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
    To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
    Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
    Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
    After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
    To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200 for a blowjob?"

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