The Lucky Frog
Abe lives in Tel Aviv. One day, he takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. Abe thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9 Iron". Abe looks around and doesn`t see anyone.
"Ribbit. 9 Iron." And then Abe realises that the frog is doing the talking.
He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the hole. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow, that`s amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." Abe decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.
"What do you think, frog?" Abe asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood." Abe takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. Abe is befuddled and doesn`t know what to say. .
By the end of the day, Abe has golfed the best game of more...
Goldie, a middle aged Jewish woman goes to see a fortune-teller.
"Two men are madly in love with me!" Goldie says. "Who will be the lucky one?"
The swami answers...."Morris will marry you, and Irving will be the lucky one."
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. Nurses are known to be hot to trot". The second man married a telephone operator. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,"Wow, he's a lucky one. Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top button...Va-voom.". The third man married a school teacher. Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty but teachers are just too frigid". The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two would call much later in the day. At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The more...
A 55-year-old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, who's lucky number is 5 receives a phone call from a friend.
The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5 to win.
Sure enough, the horse comes in fifth.
A father and son went grocery shopping, and down practically every aisle, the kid wanted something.
"Dad, can I get some Lucky Charms?"
"Sure, if you can touch your dick to your ass."
"Then I guess you don't get any Lucky Charms."
"Dad, can I get some Mountain Dew?"
"Can you touch your dick to your ass?"
"Then no Mountain Dew"
At the checkout, the dad feeling really sorry for his son, bought his son a lottery ticket.
They walked out to the car and the kid immediately scratched off the ticket, and screamed.
"Dad, I won, I won ten thousand dollars."
"Great, son, are you going to give some of the money to your mother and me?"
"I don't know, can you touch your dick to your ass?"
"Yes, I can son, I'm older"
"Good; go fuck yourself."