Lowell Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    This is the story of the night my ten-year-old cat, Rudy, got his head stuck in the garbage disposal. I knew at the time that the experience would be funny if the cat survived, so let me tell you right up front that he's fine. Getting him out wasn't easy, though, and the process included numerous home remedies, a plumber, two cops, an emergency overnight veterinary clinic, a case of mistaken identity, five hours of panic, and fifteen minutes of fame.

    My husband, Rich, and I had just returned from a vacation in the Cayman Islands, where I had been sick as a dog the whole time, trying to convince myself that if I had to feel lousy, it was better to do it in paradise. We had arrived home at 9 p.m., a day and a half later than we had planned because of airline problems. I still had illness-related vertigo, and because of the flight delays, had not been able to prepare the class I was supposed to teach at 8:40 the next morning. I sat down at my desk to think and around ten more...

    The following is an actual letter of complaint which I grabbed off the
    net many years ago (when it used to be called net.jokes, if you can
    remember that long ago!) Unfortunately, I don't have the original
    source anymore. Note the date sent and the prices quoted.
    Atlanta, Georgia
    September 13, 1970
    Director
    Billing Department
    Shell Oil Company
    P.O. Box XXXX
    Tulsa, Oklahoma 74102
    Dear Sir:
    I have been a regular customer of the Shell Oil Company for several
    years now, and spend approximately $40.00 per month on Shell products.
    Until recently, I have been completely satisfied with the quality of
    Shell products and with the service of Shell employees.
    Included in my most recent statement from your department was a bill
    for $12.00 for a tire which I purchased at the Lowell I. Reels Shell
    station in McAdenville, N.C. I stopped at this station for gasoline
    and to have a timing malfunction corrected. The gasoline cost more...

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