Lordship Jokes

The old Lord of the Manor was finally on his death-bed, and had called his servants to his bed-side.
To his butler, he said, "Jeeves, you have been with me now for nearly 40 years, and for your loyal service I shall leave you Ashley Hall, with its 74 rooms, and a 100% pension." "Thank you, your lordship," said Jeeves.
Turning to the house-keeper, "Jurby, you have been in my employ for 25 years, and for your excellent running of the house, I leave you Grantley Hall with its 42 rooms, and a 75% pension." "Thank you, your lordship," said Jurby.
Finally, he turned to the chauffeur, "Parker, you have been with me now for 6 months, and in that time you have crashed my 1912 Rolls Royce, blown up the engine in the Le Mans-winning 1928 Bentley, and got the maid pregnant. I'm leaving you bugger all."
"Thank you, your lordship; and how many rooms does that have?"

A lord was entertaining some guests at his country estate and they were playing cricket. The lord was batting and his chief footman was the umpire. A guest bowled and plainly caught the lord l. b. w.

They appealed to the footman, who said,' Lord Melford; is not at home.'

'What?' said the lord.

'Well, your lordship,' said the footman,' to speak plainly you're out!'

His Lordship awoke with an all too infrequent feeling of virility and joyfully announced his condition to his valet. Impressed, the servant asked, "Shall I notify M'lady?"
"No, just hand me my baggy tweeds," replied his Lordship. "I shall smuggle this one into town."

Vice-Admiral Lord Mountgarret was addressing an all male gathering of sailors where everyone present knew as much about sailing as he. His lordship who had by then imbided more than his share of spirits decided to talk about his sexual exploits, of which he claimed to have had many more than they. The next morning, while his lordship was nursing his hangover in bed, her ladyship ran into one of the previous evening's audience while she was out shopping and asked him how her husband's speech had gone down.' He was a roaring success,' the man assured her.
'I am so glad,' said Lady Mountgarret.' I was terribly worried. He's only done it three times. The first time he was violently sick. The second time his hat blew off, and the third time he got all tangled up in the sheets!'