Lookin Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender.
    "We got her," replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right."
    The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!"
    The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!"
    Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles.
    "How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner.
    "I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers first."

    One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender. "We got her!" replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right." The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two beers. He grabbed the beer bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles. "How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner. "I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers before we get started."

    Gun Shop Owner: "Hi, How can I help you?"
    Client: "I'm lookin' for a gun."
    Owner:"What kind of gun are you lookin' for?"
    Client: (pointing at the biggest handgun in the case): "That one looks about right."
    Owner: (very surprised): " Why do you need a .44 magnum?"
    Client: "It's for shootin' at cans."
    Owner: (pointing at a small handgun): "Well, this is the perfect size for shooting at cans."
    Client: (pointing again at the .44): "Nah, I need this one."
    Owner: "OK, what kind of cans are you shooting at?"
    Client: "Mexi-cans... Puerto Ri-cans... Afri-cans

    A big Texan is walking down the main street of Ballinclashett and encounters Liam standing on the pavement beside a big strong horse.

    This prompts the Texan to attempt to realise a lifelong dream and he says to Liam, Say Boy, that's a fine-lookin horse you got there, and I'd like to tour this beautiful country on horseback so's I can see the sights and hear the sounds of the countryside like they did in the old days. I'll buy that horse off of ya, how much ya want.

    Liam says, O sure and you don't want to be messin with this horse he don't look too good these days.

    Hey, Boy, says the Texan, Don't you try to tell me what's a good lookin' horse an what isn't. I been tradin' horses all my life long and there ain't nothin a young country boy like you can tell me about em. Now you jes name yer price and we'll get along fine.

    I'm sayin' to ye that this horse is not a good lookin horse mister and ye don't want any part of' im, says more...

    One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender.

    "Well, we got her!" replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right." The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two botles of beer.

    He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!"

    The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles. "How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner.

    "I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers first."

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