Longhorn Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater.
    They attempted to rob a bank but got caught.
    They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair.
    The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go.
    The Longhorn went first. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He told them no. He pressed the button and nothing happened so he was free to go.
    The bug eater went next. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He said no and pressed the button. Nothing happened and he was free to go.
    The Aggie went next. They asked him if he had any last words.
    "I think if you plug the chair in, it'll work better."

    There was an Aggie, Longhorn, and a Red Raider who were out hunting. The Aggie brought back a big buck.
    ''How did you get that?'' they all asked.
    ''I saw the tracks, followed the tracks, and 'boom' I shot a buck.'' Then the longhorn brought back an elephant.
    ''How did you get that?'' they all asked.
    ''I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and 'boom' I shot an elephant.'' Then the Red Raider came back all beat up.
    "What happened?" they all asked.
    "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and 'boom' I got hit by a train."

    A guy took his girl friend to her first Longhorn football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied,
    "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
    Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
    "Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: get the quarterback. Get the quarterback! It`s only 25 cents!

    There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater. They attempted to rob a bank but got caught. They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair. The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go. The Longhorn went first. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He told them no. He pressed the button and nothing happened so he was free to go. The bug eater went next. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He said no and pressed the button. Nothing happened and he was free to go. The Aggie went next. They asked him if he had any last words. "I think if you plug the chair in it will work better."

    There was an Aggie, Longhorn, and a Red Raider who were out hunting. The Aggie brought back a big buck.' 'How did you get that?'' they all asked.' 'I saw the tracks, followed the tracks, and' boom' I shot a buck.'' Then the longhorn brought back an elephant.' 'How did you get that?'' they all asked.' 'I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and' boom' I shot an elephant.'' Then the Red Raider came back all beat up. "What happened?" they all asked. "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and' boom' I got hit by a train."

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