Top Ten Guiness Records No One Wants To Break
10. Longest-Running Show on CBS
9. Least-Jiggy Human
8. Sweatiest Palm
7. Most Freakish Person Named "Michael Jackson"
6. Most Times in "Price Is Right" Audience Without Being Asked to "Come On Down"
5. Greatest Number of Obscene Phone Calls Received From Tom Bosley
4. Most Times Hit In Face By a Goose While Riding A Roller Coaster
3. First Person To Circle Earth in Wet Corduroy
2. Longest-Running Marriage to Dennis Rodman
1. Longest Fingernails (On Someone Who Doesn't Realize Their Fly Is Open)