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    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
    MALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.
    FEMALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. more...

    For years now the FBI, the CIA, and the LAPD have all been argueing about their incredible arrest records and solved cases. Each claiming to be better than the others. Finally, the president hears about this nonsense argument and takes the top officers of each branch out to the woods. There, the president releases a rabbit. He tells the FBI, the CIA, and the LAPD that that is their suspect, and the first to arrest it is the victor.
    So the FBI goes out into the forest and plants a bunch of animal informants all over the woods trying to locate this rabbit. After weeks of investigations and tips from forest critters, the FBI can't turn up anything on this alleged rabbit.
    With that the CIA goes out into the forest to look for the rabbit. Unable to locate the suspect the CIA claims that there never was a rabbit in the first place and burns down the forest to cover it up.
    Finaly, the LAPD goes off into the smoldering woods and comes out less than five minutes later with a badly more...

    MALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Wind down your car window
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
    6. Wind up window
    7. Drive off.
    FEMALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to cash machine
    2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
    3. Re-start stalled engine
    4. Wind down the window
    5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card
    6. Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
    7. Attempt to insert card into machine
    8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car
    9. Insert card
    10. Re-insert card the right way up
    11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
    12. Enter PIN
    13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
    14. Enter amount of cash required
    15. Re-check make-up in rear view more...

    Please note that Banks are installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up.
    MALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.
    FEMALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine.
    3. Set parking Brake, Put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
    5. Turn the radio down.
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    9. Insert more...

    YOUR DELETE KEY
    Thank you for using the Delete Key. The Delete Key is an amazing new technology available to all computer users. It is simple, effective, and very user-friendly. If this is your first time using the Delete Key, we urge you to read the entire contents of this manual. Please do not delete this manual. This may cause you to use the delete key in a reckless or insufficient manner.
    INTRODUCTION
    The Delete Key provides a keyboard based, fully manual method for the removal of information. Furthermore, use of the Delete Key in conjunction with the small amount of brain matter you have left may induce a tingling sensation of pleasure.
    Failure to use the Delete Key may result in aggravation, humiliation, and knee-jerk reactionism. This manual will help you locate and implement a full Delete Key pressing method to ensure your peace of mind remains unaltered.
    LOCATING THE DELETE KEY
    Lift your hands off the key board.
    Scan the keys for a key labeled more...

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